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#1
02-22-2012, 09:28 AM
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#2
02-22-2012, 04:52 PM
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Just got Friday's PPs printed out. Since school doesnt give out homework, figured I might as well give myself some.
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#4
02-24-2012, 11:48 PM
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#5
02-25-2012, 03:06 AM
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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#6
02-25-2012, 05:21 AM
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Timeline time
Wow, what a blur this past 4 days has been. I had the pleasure of meeting many fellow dt'ers and hopefully created friendships that will last a very long time.
So while I sit in Tampa international with about an hour to kill I'll try to give you the highlights and lowlights of a very memorable 4 days. Tuesday- Trip starts when I fly into Orlando for business at the crack of dawn. Not expected to meet up with the gang until the next day. Eat breakfast at a rancid IHOP that will lead to many lowlights in the following days. But in the short term I have a brief laugh at stuffing up their lone toilet on the way out. I high tail it out of there before they find out and expect to undo the carnage that I did. But in the end they will get the last laugh, believe me.......... In the meantime I have tons of time to kill as it's early and I'm not expected at my destination until late afternoon, but I do start heading towards that direction. As I'm driving on I4 I see a sign for a dog track, hell why not? So I cut across 4 lanes and get off having no idea where or how far this place is. Thankfully it was only about 20 minutes away, with the only thing guiding me are these little signs that I keep spotting by the grace of God every few miles. But with his guiding hand I stumble across the Orlando Sanford dog track. I am absolutely floored, it's 11am and they just opened. I'm walking around and admiring the place like it's the Lourve. Boarding has started, to be continued (probably tonight)..........
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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#7
02-25-2012, 09:28 AM
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#9
02-25-2012, 12:29 PM
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Continued
I have a few minutes here while there's a lull in the homecoming celebration
 .So after the intial excitment/aura of the dog track wore off (after about 3 minutes), it came to my realization that the place was a gigantic s.hithole. It made Freehold raceway look like Keenland. They were still about 90 minutes away from racing there and I only saw a handful of people, but realistically I couldn't hang around until the races started as I had to be in Lake Mary by about 1:30. More importantly, I'm not caught up on my teatnus shots and the IHOP breakfast is starting to rumble again. On the way back to I4, I spot a big Mall, I figure that I still had some time to kill, so I go in. They have this really big sports store, so I go in to buy the boys some stuff. What's the first thing I see, yup Jeremy Lin shirts and jerseys all over the place. I about face and walk out. More importantly, It's starting to become clear to me that the IHOP I had for breakfast has officially become a major situation. Thankfully for now, the mall bathroom is top notch. The rest of the day is pretty much a non-event, except for being absolutely exhausted while having to visit customers and take them out to Ruth Chris for dinner (and obviously the IHOP situation). My luck of nice bathrooms does extend with my customer's office building and the Ruth Chris steakhouse. I have no appetite as I dine and actually feel nauseous at times, but fight though. I do catch a break as my stomach cooperates on the 90 minute drive to Tampa (I guess not falling asleep on the drive is a break too). But when I finally reach my hotel room, I absolutely destroy that bitch. Then exhaustion (and probable dehydration) set in as I crash. Next up Tampa day 1 To be continued........................................
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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#10
02-28-2012, 09:59 AM
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#11
02-28-2012, 10:36 AM
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#12
02-28-2012, 10:52 AM
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Friday-Triple day
The gang was up early again for Friday morning golf which would be followed by Tampa downs and finishing at the famous Derby lane dogtrack. After a quick bite in the hotel kitchen, we head out to meet the rest of the group at the golf course. The golfing groups would be BT, Heels and Herk. Followed by Bigs, GPK, Aunty and myself. As we are waiting, I figure I might as well check out the facilities in the clubhouse. They were top notch, probably the nicest one I have visited since being in Florida (and God knows I have seen too many of them). After buying a $4 dollar Gatorade
 , I catch up with the group. From there it probably takes about ten minutes to square away all the golfing bets/side action. The golf nazi (GPK) has action with almost everyone. It's to the point where it takes him about a half hour after the round to figure out where everyone stands. Now as stated before, I frankly suck at golf. I don't play at all so I never practice. I do like playing, but I figure if I have 5 hours to burn (which very rarely happens), I'm going to the track. Now Bigs is better than me (which isn't saying much) and he can hit the ball a country mile, but he struggles mightily at times too. So what's this midget prick do? He makes us play from the blue tees with him. Basically it just makes a tough game almost impossible for me. Then you have Lori, who hits the ball a ton as well. She decides that she's going to use her "vag" (her word not mine) advantage and hit from the ladies tees. They are probably at least 100 yards in front of the blues every hole. But I guess in her little side match with the Golf Nazi, she wasn't getting as many strokes cause of the "vag" advantage. So now she's getting par's and bogeys and bitching and moaning about it. To make matters worse the Golf Nazi is having sissy fits cause he's getting bogeys. Meanwhile my f.uckin hands are now on fire to match my a.sshole, because I must have swung the club about 3000 times between yesterday and today. Everything is starting to hurt and I'm running out of golfballs. I have a 3 hole span where I'm eased and vanned off not finishing the hole. Then I finally hit a decent drive (for me) and it's literally 1 foot outside a red stake (whatever that f.uckin means). So that midget prick says I found your ball and gave you a good lie, but you're hitting three. You would think that since I was on pace to shoot 235 that he would give me a break. I swear to God that I vowed to show up wearing a bomb vest the next time he and the rest of the Keebler elfs have a meeting to discuss a new cookie. But regardless it was a great time, Bigs and I had a ton of laughs riding in the cart together. BT you might not want to read this part. Finally we're on the 18th and I can't wait for the round to end and get to the track. The Golf Nazi is teeing up first. All of a sudden I start elbowing Bigs and point to the tee off markers. He realizes what I have already noticed, we're hitting off from the whites. Bigs and I are giggling like a couple of schoolgirls knowing that if the Golf Nazi realizes where we're hitting from, he will surely make us hit from the jerkoff blues. Not to mention, how could the Golf Nazi make such a silly mistake? Obviously Lori doesn't realize either. So I actually hit a good shot and since we are hitting from the whites, my second shot is actually a makeable 140 from the pin instead of something like being 203 away if I hit from the blues. My second shot lands on the green about 30 feet from the pin. From there I two putt paring the final hole, screwing BT (who parred it from the blues) out of winning the final 7-8 skins that have carried. Chances are I wasn't parring that hole from the blues. Sorry Bri, as a racing fan you should be use to being screwed like this. The wrong bettors paid, tough s.hit. to be continued...........................
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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#13
02-28-2012, 11:31 AM
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you muthaf****....... those blues were at the absolute tips on #18, we might as well been teeing off from the gd woods we were so far back, and i find out you tee'd off from the whites? WTF, is there no honor in golf either. I'm now doubley salty b/c i made a NATURAL BIRDIE from the tips on #18, net 2 and i pushed with you? -bt-
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#14
02-28-2012, 12:55 PM
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After golf it was a 5 minute car ride to the track. We show up as they are getting into the gate for the opener. I have to admit that I was going to take it easy today. I was still hurting from yesterday's bloodbath, plus I thought it was a toxic situation having the big group and trying to handicap 2-3 tracks on the fly. When we get there the rest of the DT group is there. We meet Golfer, Sheets and Sheets dad (the funding behind Sheet's gambling habit). Of course Exacta Bob is in the house again minus the misses and Rude is there as well, wearing what looks like a woman's shirt (which later apparently he confirmed, calling it a blouse {once again, his words not mine}). So I start talking to Sheets, and notice that he has his printed out sheets of the form bounded professionally, with a plastic cover page and backing. I'm sure it's 1000 times nicer than any book report or paper that he's done in his life. I am absolutely blown away by the creativity. I heard he picked this up from Mr. Chicago. He goes to staples and gets it done for $10 bucks. I think to myself about the creativity and the love of the game that this kid must have. I also think that child services really should make a stop by the Sheets house too. I really think that Sheets is on an interesting path. I feel like he could either end up taking Margo's job as the lead handicapper at Tampa. Or maybe end up being like Exacta Bob and going to the track during the days and swimming with guys like Goncalves at night. Or quite possibly like the douche that literally lives in the Grunder bar with the bad hair constantly yelling at the TV saying stupid s.hit. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Regardless, he's going to have a tough time meeting girls if the only places he visits are staples, Tampa Downs and Derby Lane
. But the bottom line is that he's a really good kid, he just needs to hang out at the mall with his friends a little more and a little less with the meatheads at the track.Then I talk to Golfer, another really good guy. But listening to all the rage he has against Mark Guidry makes me think that he might be on a no-fly list somewhere. But it's pretty funny watching him and Sheets talk shop, then Sheets dad not really caring about the shop talk just offerening up the capitial to be involved on whatever Sheets and Golfer are playing. But they really are all great people and I had so much fun hanging out with all of them. I do try to start my own personal show parlay that lasts all of two races and then it takes me an etirnity to finally dope out a late pick 4 at Tampa. I think Heels hits the early four at Gulfstream, he's another guy that's always seems live and is not afarid to hit the all button. Rainman (Herk) is cashing tickets (and not chalky ones) all over the place. He even mispunches a pick 3 that costs him a couple of yards, but he's cashing so much other stuff he just shakes it off and moves on. Good news, my stomach/colon seems to be cooperating as I haven't visited the facilities since the golf course. I even eat a hot dog for lunch. Obviously the whole group is conscious of how special the 9th race is going to be. We're all excited to see what GPK's reaction will be. The group has him at 1/9 to start crying. But unfortunately he has gone missing, seems like that dummy is up in the Poker room. I finally punch a $67 dollar pick 4 ticket going 3x3x5x3. Finally GPK appears and we decide we should tell him before he disappears again. Lori let's him know and the 1/9 shot looks like the easiest moeny ever to be made at the racetrack as he starts crying. To be continued.................
__________________
Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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