Manti Te'o dead girlfriend story a hoax?

[IrishofNDMan]

Originally Posted by Antitrust32

Ronaiah Tuiasosopo and Manti Te'o are lovers. Ronaiah's father is a pastor and they are big in religion. Te'o's a mormon and a football stud. So they make this story up to throw everyone off on the gay thing. Ronaiah and Te'o break up.. so they create this death thing as the death of their relationship. Come december Ronaiah wants to get back at Te'o and threatens to expose the fake gf thing. That's when Te'o makes up the "i was duped" story and goes to Notre Dame with it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Wow this is dumb

[IrishofNDMan]

This guy knew she was fake for a long time.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobile...n_2492653.html

[Danzig]

so did this guy:

http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/3d28...16e7042f517906

[Danzig]

and isn't it funny timing that he realized it was 'all a hoax' right after the heisman voting concluded?

[Crown@club]

Saturday Night Live comedian Seth Meyers @sethmeyers21: "These Te'o jokes are all very funny but let's all try and remember that a person who never existed is dead."

Former Ohio State player turned sports blogger Mark Titus ‏@clubtrillion:"Protip: Get your Te'o jersey now. By the time Halloween rolls around, you'll forget about this and blow the chance to be Te'o & his fake GF."

Yahoo! Sports' Dan Wetzel @DanWetzel: "I have to say, inventing a dead girlfriend is the boldest Heisman stunt ever. Makes a Times Square billboard seem quaint"

ESPN college basketball analyst Dick Vitale: "Don't know what to believe in MANTI soap opera-heard from insiders that they could identify those involved in hoax !NEED TRUTH FROM TE'O NOW"

Houston Chronicle columnist Jerome Solomon @JeromeSolomon: "Don't believe a person can be as gullible as Te'o apparently claims he was? Why do you think Nigerian prince's send so much email?"

ESPN college basketball analyst Jay Bilas: "The Manti Te'o story is the most confusing boyfriend-girlfriend situation since Jan Brady and George Glass. Bizarre."

NBC Universal's Michelle Beadle @MichelleDBeadle: Crying?!?! There's no CRYING in fake girlfriend death hoax bs extravaganza!!! #Manti"

Jenn Sterger @jennifersterger: "Show me a dude that openly admits to having an online relationship with a girl. That's NOT in a kitchen with Chris Hansen."

Johnny Manziel @JManziel2: "#MindBlown"

Cleveland Browns player Scott Fujita @scottfujita99: "Is it weird that I had no idea who this Te'o guy was until about 5 minutes ago? But not nearly as weird as this story! WTF?!!"

Andy Behrens ‏@andybehrens
In lieu of flowers, the Kekua family asks that you provide banking details so that we may transfer the sum of USD $14 million. URGENT

[IrishofNDMan]

Please take 2 minutes and watch this from the makers of the movie catfish.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobile...n_2498345.html

[Dahoss]

Originally Posted by IrishofNDMan

Please take 2 minutes and watch this from the makers of the movie catfish.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobile...n_2498345.html

They're probably pretty unbiased. It's not like they have anything to gain by convincing people this thing happens to people...oh wait.

[Bigsmc]

Originally Posted by IrishofNDMan

Wow this is dumb

Not at all.

I realize you are a very biased fan and can't open your mind enough to believe it, but it is not a reach to think that Te'o could be gay and this fake woman was his beard.

[horseofcourse]

Originally Posted by Bigsmc

Not at all.

I realize you are a very biased fan and can't open your mind enough to believe it, but it is not a reach to think that Te'o could be gay and this fake woman was his beard.

I honestly think this scenario is quite plausible, and if it isn't Te'o brought it on himself. The facts remain that a NFL locker room may in fact be about the least tolerable place in the world for a gay man. A fairly high 1st round draft pick I think it is safe to say may not want to be an openly gay man in the NFL or society. The fake, then dead girlfriend could be his beard for his entire NFL career in his mind as to never having to have interest in any other women as none would measure up to his "dead" love of his life. It makes more sense than seeking Heisman votes I think. You've got religion involved....a Mormon kid at a Catholic university. Lots of it makes sense...I'm buying Antitrust's rumor as well and sticking to it, I think it makes the most sense.

[Danzig]

i can understand the faking of a g/f in that situation (my daughter was a friends 'date' at his folks holiday dinner before)...but making up car wrecks, life-threatening injuries, cancer, etc...that just seems to be taking things waaaaaay too far.
when was the car wreck supposedly? was that last years' heisman-vote getting effort?

[horseofcourse]

Originally Posted by Danzig

i can understand the faking of a g/f in that situation (my daughter was a friends 'date' at his folks holiday dinner before)...but making up car wrecks, life-threatening injuries, cancer, etc...that just seems to be taking things waaaaaay too far.
when was the car wreck supposedly? was that last years' heisman-vote getting effort?

Mistakes were made!!!!!

We've pretty much gotten to the point where real life is more comedic than the Onion. We are now to the point where we don't need the Onion. We simply have real life.

I buy antitrusts take on the situation, that's all I'm saying. Since Te'O's the only one who really knows what went on, he needs to come clean, until then it's all about the rumours!!

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by horseofcourse

Mistakes were made!!!!!

We've pretty much gotten to the point where real life is more comedic than the Onion. We are now to the point where we don't need the Onion. We simply have real life.

I buy antitrusts take on the situation, that's all I'm saying. Since Te'O's the only one who really knows what went on, he needs to come clean, until then it's all about the rumours!!

lol

i'm all for comedic real life. one thing that got me was when i read that teo's dad 'adds color to stories'. in other words, he likes to make up stuff...i guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
and i agree with the sportswriter who said the longer teo stays mum, the worse it looks.
i said yesterday that anti's thought is plausible-but when one adds in all the added drama and accompanying attention from si and others, well it makes the motive that much more interesting. maybe multiple motives? maybe they decided to embellish once they got started? dunno. hell, the sky's the limit when one is inventing a person and story. nice touch, killing her off the same day as granny. that's a good sense of timing and adding to the tragicomedy of events.

and i guess everyone has seen the new meme, replacing tebowing and eastwooding? now it's teoing. various pictures of you with your made up g/f.

[Danzig]

proxy_storify_com.jpg

[satan's twin]

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

[hoovesupsideyourhead]

Originally Posted by satan's twin

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

[Danzig]

i had forgotten all about balletto and oracle. fine work.

[dagolfer33]

Originally Posted by satan's twin

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

I know it's early in the year, but post of the year so far.

[blackthroatedwind]

Originally Posted by dagolfer33

I know it's early in the year, but post of the year so far.

It might be the greatest internet post of all time.

[Antitrust32]

Originally Posted by IrishofNDMan

Wow this is dumb

No, what is dumb is creating a fake girlfriend when you are a popular nationally exposed football player.

I would also say people who believe that he wasnt in on the hoax are also dumb. Or at least incredibly stupid. I bet you believed Lance Armstrong also when he said he didnt cheat.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by Antitrust32

No, what is dumb is creating a fake girlfriend when you are a popular nationally exposed football player.

I would also say people who believe that he wasnt in on the hoax are also dumb. Or at least incredibly stupid. I bet you believed Lance Armstrong also when he said he didnt cheat.

i know i sure believed him... no, wait. i never paid attention, cause it was cycling. yeah, the feeling wasn't belief, but apathy!


what is truly dumb is someone not only creating a fake g/f, but perpetuating the story and adding in tragic circumstances...and a death to boot. the dumbest part? thinking no one would ever catch on.