Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

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HOW TO TELL THE SEX OF A BIRD




This is AMAZING!!!

Until now I never fully understood how to tell The difference Between Male and Female Birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically. Until Now.

Below are Two Birds. Study them closely...See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.
It can be done. Even by someone with limited bird watching skills.

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Washing Instructions!

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Leave it to a little kid to put a smile on your face!!!!


This is truly first grade logic, I love it!


Undies

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at doing them.

Mom said : "YOU should say NO - they only want to look at your undies".

Susie said: " I know they do ... that's why I hide them in my backpack"!!

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Here get your day started off the right way!

www.Cartoline.net

(Click on this link & put your quarter in)

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Sometimes You Get What You Ask For!


A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said,
'Honey, tell me something that will make me happy and sad all at the same time.'

She replied, 'You have the biggest dick of all your friends.'

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This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.


When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,
'What did you steal?'
She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches
and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, '6.'

The judge said, 'Then I will give you 6 days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the
woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something..
The judge said, 'What is it?'

The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'

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MAD COW DISEASE!

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview witha farmer, seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease.Lady Reporter: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"The Farmer stared at the reporter and said:
"Do you know that a bull screws a cow only once a year?"The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed) reports "that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?
"The Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"The reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information,but what about getting to the point?
"The Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your breasts twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get MAD?"