Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[MaTH716]

A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a lovely date at her parents' home.


I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.


She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail. Lobster Patron. Champagne.


I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"


"No," she replied. "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight."


I said "Would you care for dessert?"

[Arletta]

A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's
field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the
lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve
it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me
get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts.
We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so
on, back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take
the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick
planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to
give up, but didn't.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay,
now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"

[clyde]

Finally!!



A good joke!

[Arletta]

No joke, but came across this from a newspaper in San Leon, Texas.



http://seabreezenews.com/back%20issu...1/Page_01c.pdf

[clyde]

whoa!


That was wild..the poor dear.

And the hunters use the obligatory goofy smile pose over the creature they shot with their gun.

blech

[Arletta]

Get R' Done



(I felt bad for the head that was on the a.ss end.)

[clyde]

!!!!







And which end was that??