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#11
03-27-2011, 09:09 AM
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A guy goes into the post office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?" "This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.. No point in you coming in for that."
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!" 
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