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#1486
10-12-2010, 01:24 PM
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MuffyDearest
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#1487
10-12-2010, 01:35 PM
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I'm sorry,ma'am...but do you know why I pulled you over?
I didn't think so. First..you were parked in a no muffing zone. Then, you sped through a pud x crossing. You left in quite a muff. I need to see your muff's license..it must have a photo id. hmmmm...what is your muff's name, ma'amage? Fluffy Muffy? It says here that it's Muff in a Drum. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to show me your muff. Well no..I better do this right. I'm going to radio in for Officer Muffcli Trust.She will have to do the muff match here.Sit tight...and don't go trying to disguise it with the funny glasses and muffstache kit.
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#1490
10-12-2010, 02:21 PM
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How can I ever again listen to a football game......taking that suicidal chance that a kick off is misjudged by the receiver.He neverr gets control nor is hit, but the ball bounces to the ground.
The announcer always points out the proper terminology for the misplay. That would kill me. Anyone recall the well known ex Michigan State fb coach from the 60's,I think. Keep it to yourself. That would kill me,too.
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#1493
10-12-2010, 07:01 PM
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Snowmen and SnowGirls...I have an announcement to make.
Like anyone cares. Or is even here,for that matter. My days are numbered in hours. I have decided, after much empty thought, it is time for me to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Alway best done before one does grow up.Saying as much and having finally put most things behind me; and those I have not-- I am pretending they are not there, like any even tempred adult would do.......I will be gone and I do mean like sssssssssssssssso gone from these woods and this retched site. I doubt I will finish the C.A's and ,of course, anyone can pick up from where I leave. I would think Monday latest...and that's it. From here there and everywhere. Not even the reopening of the Padlock will change this decision. And please, for once in your lives...don't applaud and embarrass me.
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#1494
10-12-2010, 07:01 PM
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Quote:
What are you even talking about??? 
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#1495
10-12-2010, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
You are a very sick person who should seek 6 months in the very best mental institution this country has to offer. Or... ( and this is the road I suggest)...simply down a quart of mookies and NAPALM your neighbors homes. This tends to drive out the demons and you should be good to go in life as a Social Norm.
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#1496
10-12-2010, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
You're like the stereotypical opera singer fromt the 50's that every single member of the entourage had to placate and applaud and complement until they came around and until the next little self indulgent outburst... the next little episode of me-ism. The next FEEL SORRY FOR ME event they they all got free tix to on a weekly basis. Look... you're not the gawky girl who is always picked last for the team and who keeps a diary complete with cutouts from bridal magazines pasted over pictures of her yappy little dogs who her parents wish would die already cause they stopped being cute after about a week. You're not the Jew-fro'd redhead dangly-spider armed kid who no one will eat lunch with and who smells like a combination of egg salad, Bernsteins vinagrette and 3 days old vomit. You're not the weird fat lady who lives up the hill in the house with newspapers littering the driveway and too many cats... with the funny smell that gets even worse when the kids throw eggs at it on halloween or TP before they climb and adorn the trees with tampons if there's a chance of rain on that one night when they're sorta allowed to be little mosters. You are Morty for God sake. Stop the sissiness and write a God damned poem and finish your death list and continue on with the muff jokes cause wading and wallowing in a sea of self pity, doubt and defeatism does not suit you Sir. Are we clear?
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#1497
10-12-2010, 07:26 PM
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Oh yeah forgot to put kissie at the end.
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#1498
10-12-2010, 07:37 PM
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gooski!!!!!
You beast!! whoa!!.....that is maybe the funniest stuff I have ever read here! Even bettah than mine!! what the fucl< am I saying?? You fucl<ing rapier tongued bush whistle. I'll rip that tongue out ..that's one less thing you'll wag at innocent people.Then I will stick your ENTIRE little body in my head freezer so you can scare them to death for Halloween. You are the filthiest ,fan tailed sewer mouth wench I ever saw. Why you still give my pud a SmileyWoody---I'll never know.
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