It's early, but please post your nominations for.....

[ninetoone]

For best post, within the same thread, from Mortimer:

It was nickle perogi night at The CheapWhiskeyDancer Bar....it was in mid summer around 7 years ago.


Oh it wasn't the nickle perogis that attracted me. ...I hate those vulcanized obsceneties anyway.


I was there to see the first Eskeemo cheap whiskey dancer. It was fabled her legs didn't even hint of stopping at her dupa and she could slam down 3 doubles after every dance as if they contained pinneappple juice and not FrankyFiveAngels Rye.

I came late...and they knew me there from my last visit when I cleaned out 17 Swedish military assault members and stuck their knives where cheese isn't made.

The bar was full.....and I love sitting at the bar.


I picked the toughest looking one to make sure there would be a message for all to enjoy.


I told him......" You're sitting in my seat."





He didn't like it.



Not the seat....what I said.






He replied.." Well I don't see yer stinkin' name on it."


I knew he didn't know me from the last time.



So I says......." No ..it ain't on my seat...it's on this....and my name is Colt .44." I pulled back my coat displaying a holstered Dirty Harry model." His eyes bugged



I smashed him over the head with a full bottle of OldGrandDad....as he slumped I picked him up and flung him about 20 feet across the bar.


I looked at all the dumbfounded retches and shrieked..."Anyone else wanna piece a me??"












They weren't interested.