Moose an early arrival at Spa

[Riot]

The Moose - by Woody Allen, Stand Up Comedian

I shot a moose, once.

I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.

It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious.

And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday.

And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.

So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door.

I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.

Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burkowitz's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitz's lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious.

Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burkowitz's.

So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.

The following morning the Burkowitz's wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.

Originally Posted by Riot

The Moose - by Woody Allen, Stand Up Comedian

I shot a moose, once.

I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.

It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious.

And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday.

And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.

So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door.

I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.

Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burkowitz's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitz's lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious.

Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burkowitz's.

So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.

The following morning the Burkowitz's wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.

Damn I remember that.
I got in trouble in High School
for reading Woody Allen books during
yes indeed...
Biology.

[Riot]

Originally Posted by pgardn

Damn I remember that.
I got in trouble in High School
for reading Woody Allen books during
yes indeed...
Biology.

Eh, all that "opinion" stuff, biology, not like physics, something real you can sink your teeth into!

But then came ... quantum mechanics ....

Originally Posted by Riot

Eh, all that "opinion" stuff, biology, not like physics, something real you can sink your teeth into!

But then came ... quantum mechanics ....

Probabilty on speed.
Absolutely bizarre stuff.

Woody Allen is much better.
Although more perverse as it ages.

I still dont get how there is a moose
in Saratoga in the summer. Is Saratoga
a suburb of Anchorage?

[Bigsmc]

Some of Pillow's finest work to date...





...all it is lacking is the ever-present Blockatiel.

[freddymo]

Originally Posted by Kasept

SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y., June 15, 2009 -- Saratoga Race Course employees arrived at work Monday morning to find a cow moose wandering on the sidewalk outside track property, New York Racing Association officials said. After NYRA security worked in support of the Saratoga Springs police department to bring the moose to safety inside the gates to Saratoga Race Course, Environmental Conservation officials tranquilized the moose with the intention of delivering it unharmed back to its natural environment.

The moose was first spotted around 6 a.m. by Saratoga city police officers along Nelson Avenue. It eventually wandered onto Frank Sullivan Place strolling along the outside of the track fence. City police requested that NYRA security open the Lincoln Avenue entrance to the track to lure it inside in order to keep it out of harm’s way, as well as to ensure the safety of pedestrians and drivers, until workers from the Department of Environmental Conservation could arrive on the scene.

NYRA employees say while Saratoga Race Course is a 350-acre urban park, they do not recall ever before seeing a moose on the property.

Only can think that the moose is possessed to get her some Carolina BBQ or Is she wants to race in the Sciacca barn?

[Antitrust32]

Originally Posted by freddymo

Only can think that the moose is possessed to get her some Carolina BBQ or Is she wants to race in the Sciacca barn?

I think we should find the moose... say she's actually a funny looking camel (she's got a hump)... and sell her to Goldophin for 4.2 million dollars.

[Merlinsky]

Originally Posted by Antitrust32

I think we should find the moose... say she's actually a funny looking camel (she's got a hump)... and sell her to Goldophin for 4.2 million dollars.

Nah, Jess Jackson's gonna buy The Togamoose and send her to Curlin.

[pgiaco]

Originally Posted by Merlinsky

Nah, Jess Jackson's gonna buy The Togamoose and send her to Curlin.

Press Release from Jess Jackson:
"We are very happy to have aquired the greatest moose in the history of racing. It is our goal to have the country enjoy her splendor. She will tell us when she is ready to run. Steve is looking at the Boris and Natasha Stakes with a possible run against the boys in the Moosleyvania Derby. After her illustrious career we will breed her to Curlin and enjoy racing her offspring."

[Kasept]

Moose at Spa photo/story hits Top 5 on Yahoo...
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slides...7ac11a1c67aa2/

[Merlinsky]

Originally Posted by pgiaco

Press Release from Jess Jackson:
"We are very happy to have aquired the greatest moose in the history of racing. It is our goal to have the country enjoy her splendor. She will tell us when she is ready to run. Steve is looking at the Boris and Natasha Stakes with a possible run against the boys in the Moosleyvania Derby. After her illustrious career we will breed her to Curlin and enjoy racing her offspring."

I'm gonna guess a process server is looking for ya. Who has jurisdiction for this lawsuit by Jess? NY?