The ClydeVivor Oaks/Derby SightyPooKins Benefit Contest

Rileyoriley · #1 07-14-2014, 08:12 PM

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Okay children ah was asked to post this:

(... and ah am evah so sorry if there is anything offensive in it).

From Clyde:

Greetings to all my horsey racing aficionados.

I type to you today.....with great shame.There are several items of note I have to impart.

The first being;I am not blind,contrary to what may be said here.I would further mention that Arlettuce is the blind one....100% loss. She has a brail computer,the only way she could follow what's being typed.In fact if she keeps it up she will loose her sense of touch.

It's somewhat amazing that sense didn't go first.

But I'm here now to confess things of my own.

Did I mention her hearing is, as I type....going south---- VERY fast?.

Now that I think of it, it's astonishing THAT sense doing go out the window first.But, I'm not here to talk about Arlettuce.....though she can only maneuver from point to point via a special push cart.Yes;she can't walk anymore.

Now that I double think of it,it's COLOSSALLY beyond me why THAT capability didn't go first.But allow me to move on.I have lied to you all.Been a tough go.I have not had a home for almost one year.That is why I have no money and am unable to work because of the damage prostate cancer has done to me.I was hit by a bus 8 months ago.Rushed to the local animal emergency room and then life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland where I died 7 times on the operating table.I was 2 months in recovery and my medical bills are over $500,000. I had no home to go to and so....I was sent to the Kent Home for the Hopeless.On the third night there I called a fat attendant, a fat attendant.I was beaten by three other even bigger attendants as well as her.Then I was rushed back to the Kent Animal Emergency Room and again life flighted to University Hospital in Cleveland.

They refuse to help me.I was returned to the streets and billed another $22,000.

I slept in the park for 12 days until my body mended.

Having strength,I went to a candy store and was caught stealing a Hershey bar.

I resisted arrest and was then arrested for resisting arrest.....which I immediately again resisted .This happened 12 consecutive times.At my hearing, everyone got confused and dizzy as the charges were read.The judge asked for my plea and I said,"I couldn't resist!!"

Not thinking it funny, he gave me 1 year in jail and a 1,000 dollar fine.

Which is really great because I only have about 6 month to live and the one thing I don't want is to stiff my creditors.

Do you have it in your hearts?

Kin ya hep me?

Will you all join me and help me in my goal of attaining $5 million through your humane generosity? For now, your merepledge is good enough.Soon I will have an address where it may be sent and who to make the payee.

If you have any hesitation, please,please listen to this for no one has ever liked me and this is why I find myself in this subhumancondition.I get beat in jail every day!! HEP ME!:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_spp-Hmvgn4[/quote]

OldDog · #2 07-14-2014, 11:19 PM

You can say that again.

bigrun · #3 07-15-2014, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldDog

You can say that again.

NO

...PLEASE

..HE TOLD ME HE'S LEAVING...YEAH RIGHT!

my miss storm cat · #4 07-15-2014, 05:35 PM

Took me a while to figure out who was leaving...

Okay someone please tell Mortimer that if he leaves I will turn this thread into a dedication thread for the one true King

and will spend ALL my time trying to figure out how to remedy this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cardus

It's too bad that the tournament is over; I will not be able to use "Schweinsteiger" in a meaningful sentence for four years.

Sooo are we talking Morty is leaving and someone has to do a resurrection thread in the next day or two (NOT it!) when He has risen

OR is it just that Morty needs (even MORE) attention or what cause I am already coming up with contests and prizes for the Schweinsteiger dilemma.