Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[bigrun]

A REAL DILEMMA ....... NRA joke!

Now this would be embarrassing




A man walked into a crowded local bar, waved his 6-shot revolver around, and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"

A voice from the back of the bar yelled out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

[casp0555]

Originally Posted by bigrun

A REAL DILEMMA ....... NRA joke!

Now this would be embarrassing




A man walked into a crowded local bar, waved his 6-shot revolver around, and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"

A voice from the back of the bar yelled out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

Hilarious!!

What about the horse that walked into a bar... the barkeep look him over and said "Hey big fella, why the long face?"

I was told this was one of two of the greatest jokes ever. The other was slightly off color. Let me know if I should post it (non-cursing of course)

[bigrun]

Originally Posted by casp0555

Hilarious!!

What about the horse that walked into a bar... the barkeep look him over and said "Hey big fella, why the long face?"

I was told this was one of two of the greatest jokes ever. The other was slightly off color. Let me know if I should post it (non-cursing of course)

Sure post it...this is the kooky forum for us kooks.....even better if it's about Texas

[bigrun]

Dear Mom,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.
Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.

[GenuineRisk]

For the Game of Thrones fans:

Why doesn't George RR Martin use Twitter?
Because he killed all 140 characters.

[geeker2]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

For the Game of Thrones fans:

Why doesn't George RR Martin use Twitter?
Because he killed all 140 characters.

[casp0555]

>> A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and
>> orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room drinking a sip
>> out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar
>> and orders three more.
>>
>> The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat
>> after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
>>
>> The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
>> Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas
>> , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
>> together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for
>> myself."
>>
>> The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
>>
>> The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
>> He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
>>
>> One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars there
>> take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second
>> round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
>> wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
>>
>> The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his
>> eyes and he laughs.
>> "Oh, no, everybody’s just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and
>> I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
>>
>> "Hasn’t affected my brothers though."