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Old 12-01-2012, 05:49 PM
Calzone Lord's Avatar
Calzone Lord Calzone Lord is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmorioles View Post
Please reinstate Ernie. He has done his time.

I appreciate your suggestion, but appeal denied at this moment.

However, since you are one of the posters here that have been carrying the water instead of drinking it... I will broach the subject with my new hand-selected cabinet at our first meeting.

I have been dealing with Kasept all day today...it's like pulling teeth, but I have finally succeeded in setting up our inital meeting.

This is what I told him about the requirements of myself and my new team earlier today:

We'll be arriving on a private jet, and will need professional limo service awaiting our arrival. Please, no cheap and dirty taxi cabs. We're... above that. The driver MUST be there at least 20 minutes early, and MUST be caucasian and clean shaven. No exceptions.

Once we arrive at the establishment a red carpet must be rolled out for our entrance. Glasses of your finest champaign will be poured and ready to be placed into our eager hands the moment we step out of the limo.

Inside the lounge we will require our own roped off VIP section with an array of fine cigars and spirits at the ready.

Table side we will require a personal chef from a Michelin 3-star restaurant ready to satiate our fine appetites.

A few special guest posters that we appreciate will be invited individually for 5-to-10 minute increments to visit with us.

We demand that JustinDew be our personal jester and perform various acts of entertainment on demand. He will be supplied a monkey suit three times too small for him that he must wear for the duration of the evening.

We will be supplied four escorts: 1 blonde, 1 brunette, 1 red-head, and 1 midget. They must be willing to perform any number of sexual activities from stripping to rub downs to conceiving our children.

The DerbyTrail.com corporate account will pick up the tab for the abortions if we so choose.

We will be sending out notifications to our specially selected guests sometime within the next week. We look forward to meeting you fortunate few.
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