Joke of the Day

[SniperSB23]

Originally Posted by Downthestretch55

Quotes from Dubbya

These are actual quotes from the Flubber-in-Chief, George W. Bush:

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) "Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." --Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

8) "I've reminded the prime minister -- the American people, Mr. Prime Minister, over the past months that it was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship." --Washington, D.C., June 29, 2006


7) "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." --Second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

6) "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

5) "They misunderestimated me." --Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

4) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" --Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
3) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." --Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

2) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." --Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

1) "There ought to be limits to freedom." Response at press conference.

Couldn't contain myself on that one and just burst out laughing at work.

[Downthestretch55]

Originally Posted by SniperSB23

Couldn't contain myself on that one and just burst out laughing at work.

Sniper,
Good ya liked it. I've been having a chuckle or two for a while.
DTS

[Downthestretch55]

OK...Confession

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.

The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.

"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation, surely 10 Hail Marys would not do. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for oral sex?"

The altar boy replied, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."