Celeb Matches

[Downthestretch55]

Just got back from the grocery store.
Didn't know I'd find this bit of juicy gossip near the instant potatoes. Right next to the Uncle Ben's converted rice (hey...don't ask me, I didn't know what religion they were before).
Anyway, I had just put the Pillsbury doughboy into the bottom of the cart, right next to Hungry Jack (gosh, they looked good together), and who should come strolling down the aisle, filling their cart with mashed potatoes, gravy!!! Whooooo!
If you guessed Little Richard, you are correct....
and his current love interest???
You won't believe it!
Condaleeza Rice! (Hey, I gave you a clue above).
Yup! Right there between the oatmeal and the Italian breadcrumbs.

Well, I left them to their shopping while I did mine.
We met up again at the "check-out". They were in front of me.
And who do you think comes behind me?
You'll never guess.
Picture a shopping cart filled with beef. Right! Big red meat! A couple of bags of pork rinds. That's it.
If you guessed Mike Tyson and his current babe, Starr Jones....DING! DING!
Maybe you get a rib-eye. How did Starr get that purple one? OWWWCH!
Anger management might be in the works.

More tomorrow. I'll be tailing Mel Gibson and let you know what I find out.

pass the roasted beef

[Downthestretch55]

Lucky day!!!
More juicey!

I swung by "Lenny's famous Bar an' Grill" for a cold one and who do I see sitting at the bar, crying in each other's beer.
Unbelievable...I couldn't make this up.
(well, actually I do)

Anyway, there at the bar, crying alligator tears into their bud draughts are none other than Katherine (hanging chad) Harris, and John (put my foot in my mouth again) Kerry. Kissin' and making up like there's no tomorrow. My guess is that there isn't.

Pass the beer nuts.

[Downthestretch55]

Went to the bagel shop for my morning carbs and who should I spy?
Mel (I own Malibu) Gibson with his new love interest, Madeline Albright.
Looks like this match will have lots of "passion".

Pass the lox.

[Downthestretch55]

With all this talk about "draining the swamp", I decided to take a walk to have a look for myself. What do I discover but a little green guy named Kermit, totally despondent about the prospect of losing his home. At least Joda was there trying to console him.
Well, Kermie and I got talkin' about blondes we've been around and he told me the tale of where his departed "love interest" had fled to.
Seems she went to Florida and has recently been seen with a guy that's had a "thing" for blondes for a while. He asked me if I remembered what happened to the beautiful Nicole. Then the tears welled up in the little green guy's eyes. Very sad.
They've been spotted sipping mamosas from the same glass at a posh golf course near Miami. His hand even seemed to be probing beneath her designer gown. Oh my!
If you haven't figured by now, I'll pass this on...
Yup! OJ Simpson and Miss Piggy.
It's looking like this "glove" will fit and there won't be an acquit.
Be careful Miss P! This guy could be dangerous.

pass the orange juice.

[Downthestretch55]

Wowser! Wowser! Wowser!

Decided to take a drive this afternoon. The danged steering wheel kept going to the right. I'd set it to go straight, and sure enough, it start swerving to the right.
Well, I'm drivin' down this mountain road, trying to keep to the center, fight the right-going steering wheel, radio blasting a Dixie Chick's song, and what do I see on the right shoulder of the road? A blond lady, soaked to the skin from the rain, hair all drooping down, with her thumb stuck out like she needs a ride somewhere. So, of course, the wheel grabs itself out of my hands and, you guessed it, veers over to the right...right to the right side of that road.
Heck, I wasn't even thinking of giving her a ride, but here she comes, runnin' up the right side of the road. What could I do?
Well, tryin' to be polite (cause that's the way I was raised), I push the button to let the passenger side window down. She jumps right in!
OK, now I was a bit rattled. So I ask, where you going?
She didn't say a word. Just sat there.
So, I say, what's your name?
And the wet blond says, Anne Coulter.
Uh huh.
I pull back onto the road and start to drive off.
Out of the bushes, this guy jumps into the back of the pick-up!
I'm a bit spooked by this, so I ask Anne, do you know him?
She says, yes.
Now I'm a little curious about this guy, looking like a drowned Captain Kangaroo in the bed of the pick-up, so I ask, who is he?
She says, John Bolton....the UN guy.
OK, I say.
And where might both of you be going?
With a silly look on that wet blond face, she says, "nowhere".
I guess she was right, cause when they went to get something inside the convenience store while I was gassin' up, I drove off before they came back.
I've gotta get that right turning steering wheel checked.
I hope Anne and John figure out where there going, but nowhere seems about right.

pass the gas

[Downthestretch55]

The "tabloid news" continues....
What the heck is going on with this?
Did my eyes deceive or was that really Bill (no spin zone) O'Reilly and his new babe, Martha Stewart signing a triple x dvd from Block Buster in line in front of me when I was waiting to ring up my "Dreamer" choice?
Sure, I must admit that I followed them on their "errands" to Frederick's where Martha made a nice purchase on a transparent "naughty", but frankly, I had no idea...none...no spin. XXX!

If anyone "across the pond" has an inside, can you confirm if there's anything to the Margaret Thatcher, Rosie O'Donnell, Gary Coleman "love triangle" story that seems to be on its way? Are these two beauties really going to "duke it out" over "him"?
Your info would be appreciated.

I'm putting in the dvd.

Pass the cheese doodles.

[Downthestretch55]

YIKES!!!
Fed-ex is shopping the video...OH MY!
OOOPS! She did it again.
For those that think I'm making this up...have a look...
http://www.playfuls.com/news_0000162...o_Sell_It.html

Pass the lolli-pops