Horse racing ads

[clyde]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

Last time I was at HP it was awesome people watching.

There were scores of men to choose from.

All it depended on was do you go for the missing teeth, bottle in a brown paper bag look or do you prefer the intellectual type... the ones that mumble to themsleves and then share a joke that only they understand?

No need to worry about the God-I-hope-they-don't put-on-too-much-cologne thing cause if that's a big turnoff there are usually scores to choose from that haven't showered and so don't have that problem!

Then there are the wink wink playaaaahs. These are the guys who I guess like a good game of show and tell cause they thrust their losing tickets in your face to prove that they had the right horses but in the wrong order.

Right horses, wrong order! Gee that never happens to anyone but them!

Like a strong man type? Let me paint a picture... the race begins and they're looking up at the tv. Mouth opens. Fist clenches. Oh! Oh! There he goes... come ON Patrick (so as not to insult any current jock) COME ON PATRICK THAT'S IT. Oooh you think to yourself... did he give the jockey instructions? He's calling him Patrick and not Pat... does that mean they're friends? Is he the owner?

He proceeds to slap his kinda rolled up form against himself (for those who like the s and m type I guess) and as the horses make their way around the turn he loses it.

Now the tempo of his cries change... now it's more like COME on Patrick COME On Patrick and then the inevitable... well let's just say it's like the opposite of what some would term the victory cry. From a beast who was upright and showed signs of life he, within a microsecond, slumps and becomes only half a man. This is followe byt the tradition "bum" comment of which there are many variations. The most pathetic one is the quiet,said to himself kind. At least the very vocal YOU ****ING BUM men are animated. This type appears dead. Up until three minutes before the next race anyway.

Oh and then there are the idiot bachelor party types who drink too much and are loud and annoying and make calls when they hit a 3/5 winnah to brag and after a while when the booze catches up they all become a little quiet and pathetic as they keep right on betting races where they wouldn't be able to tell Citation from Hasty Kris (I loved that horse but there is a slight difference). They check out your tits every time you walk by and in a not-so-discreet way cause they think you think it's like some kinda complement and some of them comment on your ass or whatever loud enough so you hear it. Is this to make you want to just throw yourself at these jerkoffs?

Men! Men! Men!

... and some of you wonder why we like flirting with you guys here? We might not all get along like one big happy ****ing family but we know none of you fall into these select groups.

I found this thought string well constructed and very amusing.


However, I should point out ..it does work the other way.I know I have to keep the aggressive females in check as they are always wanting to squeeze my dupa and try for an ''accidental" pud brush.Then as I am spotted once too often at the IRS window.....why that sets them off like a hot fuse to dynamite.

That's why I have stopped going;I refuse to be a sex magnet for gorgeous women playing out their dreams.

[bigrun]

Originally Posted by clyde

I found this thought string well constructed and very amusing.


However, I should point out ..it does work the other way.I know I have to keep the aggressive females in check as they are always wanting to squeeze my dupa and try for an ''accidental" pud brush.Then as I am spotted once too often at the IRS window.....why that sets them off like a hot fuse to dynamite.

That's why I have stopped going;I refuse to be a sex magnet for gorgeous women playing out their dreams.

Quit drinking this stuff and the women will stop...

[clyde]

Kid stuff.


I use fresh spring water with a touch of Hershey bar melt for my pud watering toilet.Also, dupa weight lifting....alternating each bun with a 20 pound weight in 1-2,1-2 fashion.Then, each is rubbed with omega-3 peanut buttah mixed with a springer of olive oil.




The affects upon the female mind are devastating.

[bigrun]

STOP IT!!!

[herkhorse]

Well, I ate all my cookies, now wherever I go I get this.

[clyde]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

Well, I ate all my cookies, now wherever I go I get this.

And you sir!



Stop making fun of the noble zebra...goddamity.

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

Well, I ate all my cookies, now wherever I go I get this.

Uh-oh . . .


he's laughing.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

Well, I ate all my cookies, now wherever I go I get this.

You should have shared your cookies with the zebra. Now you're stuck with an "Occupy Zebra".

[herkhorse]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

You should have shared your cookies with the zebra. Now you're stuck with an "Occupy Zebra".

He's actually on his way to the Eclipse Awards, nominated for Zorse of the Year.

[clyde]

Originally Posted by bigrun

STOP IT!!!

O=:>