|
|
 |
|
|
|
#1
01-12-2012, 03:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
Men do remember...
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night? The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'. She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?' 'I remember that, too' she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said 'I would have gotten out today.
__________________
"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938) When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets. Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680) 
|
|
#2
01-30-2012, 08:23 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?Obama:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the President of the United States."Cashier:"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."Obama:"Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."Cashier:"I am sorry, but these are government and bank rules and I must follow them."Obama:"I am urging you please to cash this check."Cashier:"Look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check.""Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and served an ace shot directly into the center of our bank logo 90 feet away. With that spectacular shot we cashed his check. So, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says:"Honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can't think of a single thing I can do."Cashier:"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"
*
|
|
#3
01-30-2012, 08:41 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 
|
|
#4
01-30-2012, 08:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
|
|
#5
01-31-2012, 10:44 AM
|
||||
|
||||
You guys will like this one..
__________________
"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938) When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets. Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680)
|
|
#6
02-16-2012, 07:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The Baptist & The Louisiana Cajun...
A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a Good Ole Cajun Boy on a flight to Baton Rouge. After the plane took off, the free spirited Cajun asked for a whiskey and ice, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.* Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The Cajun then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
__________________
Still trying to outsmart me, aren't you, mule-skinner? You want me to think that you don't want me to go down there, but the subtle truth is you really don't want me to go down there!
|
|
#7
02-17-2012, 01:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A visit from the Sheriff
A guy is sitting in his living room watching TV when he notices a Police car pull up in front of his house.
The Sheriff and his deputy come up and knock on the front door. He answers the door and the Sheriff says , are you Mr. Smith? Yes, he says. Are you married, sir? Yes I am, replies Mr. Smith. Would you happen to have a picture of your wife, sir? Yes I do, says Mr. Smith. Would you mind getting it and showing it to us. No problem, gents. He goes into the living room and returns with her picture and hands it to the Sheriff. A very serious look comes across the Sheriff’s face and he looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry Mr. Smith but it looks like your wife was run over by a truck”. Mr. Smith replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is a fantastic cook” !!!
__________________
|
|
#8
02-17-2012, 02:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
For the Formal Evening on your next Italian cruise.
__________________
"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938) When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets. Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680)
|
Hybrid Mode
