THE ONE FRIGGIN time...

Tom... my lil Thomas. I know you've been desperately waiting to hear my take on this heffer, and here it is.

First off, you're not smooth. We both know this. But thats what makes you endearing. That and your hobbit-like qualities and your excessive collection of bad porn. Make sure you always stay a lil "quirky". I get bored extremely easy. Once im bored with a guy, its all over. Hell, you've heard the guys around me talk! lol

Secondly, if she says she's booked solid for 3 weeks, thats not a real good sign. If she wants it, she'll make time. I know i once put my dying grandmother to the back burner for this one guy... then again my grandmother isnt dying, but i can wish.

You need to approach her with "me and my buddies host a football and porn party every weekend... you should stop by. we'll bring the chips, you bring the busch". Like they said, no point in beating around the bush, especially if you're like me and dont have one.

And thirdly, do you see yourself marrying her or is this more an attempt to get your dick wet? because if it is, you should make a quick reference to your abnormally large penis... passingly. It works... curiosity killed the pu55y... cat. ask Cajun! lol

Um, other than that... good luck, double wrap, and remember, you always have a friend in pamela HANDerson. ciao lover!