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#1
05-20-2009, 08:54 PM
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A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, and says, Wife, we are going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.
The wife grimaces, and replies, but I don t like fishing! Look! We are going fishing and that's final. Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don t want to go! All right the husband says, I will give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BJ.... 3 or you take it up the ass! The wife grimaces again. But I don't want to do any of those things! Wife, I've given you three options.. You 'll HAVE to do one of them! I 'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind! The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, Well, what have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BJ, or up the a$$? The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, O.K. I ll give you a BJ! Great! He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shi^^y! Yes! says her husband The dog didn't want to go fishing either.
__________________
We've Gone Delirious 
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#4
06-04-2009, 08:42 AM
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This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
MAN: "What was that for?" WIFE: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Barbara Ann written on it?" MAN: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Barbara Ann was the name of one of the horses I bet on." The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes, and goes off do work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. MAN: "What the heck was that for this time?" WIFE: "Your horse called."
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#5
06-04-2009, 09:19 AM
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#6
06-04-2009, 09:28 AM
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__________________
“To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.” Thomas Jefferson
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#7
06-05-2009, 04:17 PM
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When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay, FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
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