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#1
05-20-2009, 02:53 PM
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston " He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.." "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."  
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#2
05-20-2009, 09:54 PM
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A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, and says, Wife, we are going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.
The wife grimaces, and replies, but I don t like fishing! Look! We are going fishing and that's final. Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don t want to go! All right the husband says, I will give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BJ.... 3 or you take it up the ass! The wife grimaces again. But I don't want to do any of those things! Wife, I've given you three options.. You 'll HAVE to do one of them! I 'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind! The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, Well, what have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BJ, or up the a$$? The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, O.K. I ll give you a BJ! Great! He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shi^^y! Yes! says her husband The dog didn't want to go fishing either.
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We've Gone Delirious
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#5
06-04-2009, 09:42 AM
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This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
MAN: "What was that for?" WIFE: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Barbara Ann written on it?" MAN: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Barbara Ann was the name of one of the horses I bet on." The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes, and goes off do work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. MAN: "What the heck was that for this time?" WIFE: "Your horse called."
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#6
06-04-2009, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
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#7
06-04-2009, 10:28 AM
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__________________
“To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.” Thomas Jefferson
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