ATTENTION HO's and ****O'S

Mortimer · #1 11-04-2007, 12:26 AM

It shall now please me to go into the witness protection program for dead rats.

Wait until you hear this.

I PERSONALLY know of...............

...oh darn.

I forgot.

Mortimer · #2 11-04-2007, 12:35 AM

Did ya know I was a pack rat of sorts?

I was.

I have a collection of VERY interesting printed material.

Oh yes.

Material that certain entities would pay a handsome price for.

But maybe it's for sale.

And maybe it isn't.

Maybe it's for reprinting only.

And maybe tomorrows editions of the 25 biggest newspapers in the country just might have some very interesting full page ads.

One thing's for sure.

OHIO STATE IS STILL GOING TO BE NUMBER ONE IN ALL THE SEC!!!!!!

Mortimer · #3 11-04-2007, 12:38 AM

Oh.

2 things are for sure.

The second is that I shall continue doing as I please.

Mortimer · #4 11-04-2007, 12:40 AM

I should add I shan't be stopped.

No one may stop me because I won't permit it.

That's because I shall do as I please.

Mortimer · #5 11-04-2007, 12:43 AM

It pleases me to announce I have ,in addition to my fine printed material, I also have an admirable collection of voice recordings.

I may release the voice recordings after tomorrows full page ads come out in the 25 largest American newspapers.

But maybe I won't.

It may not please me tomorrow.

One thing's for sure.

I shall do as I please anytime I wish to.

Mortimer · #6 11-04-2007, 12:47 AM

It pleases me to announce I also have several boxes of video recordings.

Very embarrasssing video recordings.

I'm not saying a word about my plans for these gems.

Simply because I don't wish to.

Mortimer · #7 11-04-2007, 12:54 AM

I wish to make public I have a gaggle of live witnesses to a certain lynch mob mentality which broke out recently.

Very reliable witnesses.

Note the plural form here....as well as the pointedly descriptive....."gaggle."

That means "lots."

I have hidden them in a certan county in a certain state.

Should anyhing happen to my personal self which does not please me.....

...they know what to do.