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#1
03-20-2015, 03:51 PM
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From the one and only ~ Morty
 ================================================ Oh my God. Anyways:More Buzzings From Buzzerland with your swell host,Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. By the way, if you would like to directly communicate with Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,you are cordially invited to do so by e-mailing to Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy@Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy.Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. Note the "Attention to" should be directed at Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,of course. Uh,why is it that anything typed about racing in New York---- in a way that can be manipulated( by the paranoid) into being a very broad criticism of New York....is slammed upon immediately by Guards of Gotham?Doesn't matter if it's the NYRA or Aqueduct or Belmont or Saratoga(GOD FORBID!).If it can be even remotely perceived as a negative, you are going to be BEAT for it!! My God.So many with ultra thin skin out there.Usually,there's a reason for that thin skin because as we all know....the number one state and city with the perception of crime and corruption (if not the reality) would be New York and NYC. Huge applause to Mr. Pumpkin for his reply to a DaffyDannyism,"Coming from you (the resident brain surgeon), I take that as a compliment." MMMMMMMAH-VLUS!! Crime and Punishment was good,but not as good a I expected.Dostoevsky gets a little wordy.That 800 pages or so could have happened in Standard American Novella Passing for a Novel in 290 Pages.He gets too close to writing in epistolary form.... like a large part of Brahm Stokers "Dracula".I hate that stuff. Chaucer was great,but give me break already. Canterbury Tales is for the birdies. Gotti Rules is just a little too much to swallow.Like any other thug writing a tell all as though he had an epiphany and can now see( after only 25 years,= or -) how wrong he was.AAAAND!!....it's written on a 4th grade level!! Thank my luckies for dumb rent- an- authors. Now beginning "Danergous Personalities" by an FBI profiler.On has to keep enemies close, but friends closer.Have a feeling it's a template,but will let you know. Did I go off track again(eauxh!! That was a GOOD one!)?? Ah thank ah di-yud. Where have I been the past few days? I'll tell you.I went to Muscle Shoals ,Alabama at the invitation of Arletta.She doesn't live there.I think that's why she invited me.Anyhoo----I stayed at the Red Herring Motel.( really has nothing to do with this short story)I strolled along the banks of the Singing River.I purposely lost my way through their woods and fields;taking in all the air and water that I could.I et copious tree bark and even enjoyed sniffing the 3 day old cedar embers grown right in Muscle Shoals.This gave me a a spiritual high never before attained on ordinary cedar embers.Soon,one of the town's elite children began to speak.She heard me speak and saw my transformation.Helen Keller.She was that person.I learned she was the one who really penned Loan Me A Dime as well as Statesboro Blues,but she insisted Skags and Allman receive the credit. I met Secretariat and Downtown Dollar Billy,too.They're all here.All the finest horsey's,songwriters/players and the best Hershey bars ah ever et.Even the Chocolate Choctaw,TeePee McKay, was born here in Muscle Shoals.John F. Kennedy calls this place his home.He plays in a band with Elmore James and Blind Willie McTell on weekends.My transformation has taken me to an even higher plane.My Beautiful Mind has become almost grotesquely bloated with beauty.There is an abundance of noodle wealth that I will soon vomit out onto to these i-net pages. Thank you ,Arletta, for this invitation.You were right;it's a place unmatched in spiritual flora and fauna and yer what not.....you were also right in that you don't live there.I should have put that together.Oh well, maybe some day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTFvAvsHC_Y THE SPIRAL NOTEBOOK 1....HOYLE ONE According to me;this is not a card game. Ridiculous. Crinkle.... trash can 2....FIG FAMILY Nor is this Genesis!! Outrageous. Crinkle.... trash can 3....WATCHYEROWNBOOBEE'S Oh my God. Crinkle.... trash can 4....Wireless Future Then there is no chance of wiring it. Nor what have you. Crinkle.... trash can 5....Another Lemon GMC lives!!!! More Fiero's and Jimmy's ! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!! thud 6....SCRATCHED No shot. Crinkle.... trash can 7....MAGIC OF BELIEVING Great book written in a great year. KEEPAH!! 8.... Phooey. Crinkle.... trash can 9....CONQUEST TYPHOON KEEPAH-KEEPAH!! 10....FIRE SPIKE OK. He be far'd. Crinkle.... trash can 11....METATOSS Another good idea. Crinkle.... trash can 12....DON'T BUY PIE BLECH! I LOVE pie!! Crink-EL! trash can CONQUEST TYPHOON to win MAGIC OF BELIEVING as exacta buddy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akdVy_H7tPI THE FUNLAND DERBY Let's watch. Should be fun. 1....FIRING LINE He got in the same line as Fire Spike. He be far'd too. =:> Crinkle.... trash can 2....Gourd Nelson Contracted PayBobitis. Crinkle.... trash can 3....WHAT'S THE HURRY A VERY bad name for a race horsey. Crinkle.... trash can.... 4....WHY TWO WHY NOT? KEEPAH!! 5....CARIBOU LOGO Rack 'em. Crink-EL.... trash can 6....TIZNOTNOW Good. Crinkle.... trash can 7....THE GOD THREAD AT NA I wish this one would stop it! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! thud 8....DIRT MONSTER Cleanliness is next to Godliness. You filthy swine. Crinkle.... trash can WHY TWO TO WIN. it's midnight at the....CAH-SOL the wolf's looking for you in bed you better not care....at all or- else it's off with you're pretty head! Speaking of Patrick Bateman;I notice he's here at NT.Oh he's gained several pounds and has gone completely bald....but he''s here.Has that look of the psychopath. Bee careful honey's!! 
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#2
03-20-2015, 03:57 PM
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#3
03-20-2015, 07:49 PM
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__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#4
03-23-2015, 05:40 PM
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From Morty
================================================== ====== i-net Drive By's: Old stuff.Too much of too little. You know who's the worst though? Cardvark.Cadvark is to professional Drive By's as OJ Simpson is to criminal masterminds. A BIG embarrassment Cardvark drives to a stop,rolls his winder down------and gets hit with a pie. Now that is BAD drive by. Famous people I admire: The great horsey trainer/actor,Clarke Stable. The Christmas actress,Yuley Garland. The President,Abraham Edsel. The singer/morals philosopher,Dreg Allman The duo of horsey picker and Good Fella's leg breaker,Stevie 5 Picks and Jimmy Two Times. The great opera singer/photography enthusiast,Luciano Paparazzi. The louty,over zealous ham band leader of the 50's and 60's,Phooey Prima. The greatest baseball pitcher of all time who happened to be yellow,Bob Lemon. The greatest purple quarterback of all time,Milt Plum. The great make up producer/horrible housekeeper,Messy Lauder. Can there be a dumber horsey board fan than GetSmartMan at NA? I don't know if we can count Funny Jones here at NT.If Jihad Scientist were still around, it would be mighty close. CLYDEFORM!! New Kentucky Fried Five: 1....FarFromOver 2....International Star 3....Conquest Typhoon 4....WarStory 5....ProspectPark 6....MadeFromLucky 7....Frammento CLYDEFORM!! New Kentucky Tokes Five: 1....Ekati's Phaeton 2....Light The City 3....Forever Unbridled 4....ByThe Moon 5....EskenForMoney 6....Harlans Destiny 7....DianneStillWorks Well I forgot what I was talking about.I would think you did too, so no big deal.Dangerous Personalities: I was right.It blows----big time. I think we all remember what Franklin....CAH-SOL is about and it's appearance.The man who was infected by ze werewolf and ze Dracula and( new attraction!) ze radiation still haunts the....CAH-SOL.He lusts for human female flesh.He wants to geeve them eterrrrnal life. They want it ,too O=:> These are Ladies of the Tight. They are curvy with bright tail feathers and beauty in the face.Dreamers of ENORMOUS cocks and wanters of eterrrrnal life.I know them;you know them.I will put on my future thinking cap and give the stories of what will happen to these Women on the Dark Side of the Street. They attract Oncoming Traffic. These are not mine, but how I wish they were: "Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines." "Vegetarian: An Indian word for lousy hunter." I think I will be more appreciated after you ingest this one: "A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness." "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm2YyVZBL8U The lull in this one had to come from Muscle Shoals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0rW4F36uao Ah be tar'd.Who am I? Why, I am Mortimer Dexter Fozworthy. By the way, if you would like to directly communicate with Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,you are cordially invited to do so by e-mailing to Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy@Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy.Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. Note the "Attention to" should be directed at Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,of course. Always remember:If it's in the night,when it's dark....and you are all alone,in the park;beware.For you can never be too far from Franklin....CAH-SOL. Just ask the fridge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3gp_IqtHTo
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#5
03-23-2015, 06:50 PM
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"Vegetarian: An Indian word for lousy hunter."
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#7
03-24-2015, 07:31 PM
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__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#8
03-24-2015, 07:35 PM
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To Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,
ATTENTION Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy!!!! Three big KD preps this Saturday, The Florida Sunbathers Derby, The Louisiana Cajun Derby, and The UAE (Unicorns, Anteaters, and Elephants) Derby. Can't wait for the ClydeForm picks!!! 
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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