Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[bigrun]

62-year-old Sheridan , Wyoming cowboy: "Gimme 3 packets of Trojans."
Pharmacist: "Do you need a paper bag?"
Cowboy: "Nah ... She's purty good lookin'...."
When you are over sixty-one who gives a shit?

***********

This ******* looked at my beer belly last night and
sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."
When you are over sixty-one who gives a shit?

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your
hair cut, you'd look okay."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over
there instead of you."
When you are over sixty-one who gives a shit?

***********

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess
what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose
patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
When you are over sixty-one who gives a shit?

***********

[bigrun]

The Drill Sergeant

The Marine Corps Drill Sergeant noticed a new recruit and barked at him, 'Get your ass over here! What's your name?"
"Paul," the new recruit replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy bull-**** they're teaching in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the sergeant scowled.
"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my recruits by their last names only --- Smith, Jones, Baker.
I am to be referred to only as 'Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir, Sergeant!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The recruit sighed. "Darling, My name is Paul Darling."
"Okay, Paul, now here's what I want you to do ....."