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Old 02-29-2012, 10:26 AM
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MaTH716 MaTH716 is offline
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Originally Posted by Heels1989 View Post

You can tell a story like no other.
Thanks Dave.
If anyone feels like I missed something feel free to add it.
Also, more importantly I have stumbled on to some video from Derby Lane. Working on getting it loaded up as we speak.
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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Old 02-29-2012, 10:34 AM
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To clarify the buffet ditching, the waiter told us there was only 20 minutes left and we didn't think we could do sufficient damage in those 20 minutes to warrant the $23.

Your table was already grazing. We figured you'd find us when you were done.

So, I bought a $3 hot dog and lost the $20 on the next race.
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Old 02-29-2012, 10:58 AM
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This is the best thread I've read in . . .


forever!
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  #4  
Old 02-29-2012, 11:22 AM
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You'll never guess what happens next. My body must have instantly rejected all the food that I just ate. It was the first really big meal that I have had in a week. Thankfully the bathrooms in the club were even nicer than the bathrooms downstairs. I was in the can for quite a while. I ate so much seafood during the first sitting, that I was expecting to look down and see an aquarium in the bowl. So what do I do after leaving the bathroom? I go back and load up my plate again. I'm getting my $23 dollars worth. The table looks like an absolute bomb hit it. There's crablegs, shrimp peels, beer bottles, racing forms, dog forms everywhere. We finally finish and get ready to meet the others. I also decide to jump in and start playing the dogs a bit. We watch the dog race from the balcony and I look like a winnner the whole way around and of course get nailed at the wire. But now I have the bug (to go along with the bug that has made me s.hit everywhere since Tuesday). So I give the next race a good look and feel like I have a good handle on the race. There's one dog that seems to have a big class advantage. So I wheel him in exacta's and triple's and actually back wheel him with 2 other dogs on top in triples using the all button for show. We all reach a crossroads in our lives. This is when I reached mine, when I realized after getting killed on horses for the last 2 days (something I feel like I actually know) and vowing not to bet any of these mutts, looking down and see I have like $60 dollars worth of tickets bet on this one dog race. This is when I have my little heart to heart with Sheets, who is already looking at his bound copy of the form for tomorrow, circling every piece info on the page. I'm going to try steer the kid of this path, but of course he isn't hearing any of it. By this time, I'm sure child services will be waiting at his doorstep when they get home. Of course my dog runs second and one of the two other dogs I have on top don't win. $60 bucks on the dogs up in flames. Not to mention, that's not the only thing flaming as I'm about to s.hit for the hat trick at Derby Lane. After coming out of the bathroom again, I just make a few small action bets to be involved.
Found the video. This is a microcosm of the whole trip.

http://s789.photobucket.com/albums/y...urrent=dog.mp4
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:30 AM
GPK GPK is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaTH716 View Post
Found the video. This is a microcosm of the whole trip.

http://s789.photobucket.com/albums/y...urrent=dog.mp4
"Outside Pieces"

Matt at the end of the video "Wha da f*ck jus happened there?"

That quote defined the whole trip.
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  #6  
Old 02-29-2012, 11:48 AM
Antitrust32 Antitrust32 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GPK View Post
"Outside Pieces"

Matt at the end of the video "Wha da f*ck jus happened there?"

That quote defined the whole trip.
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Originally Posted by Riot View Post
Can I start just making stuff up out of thin air, too?
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  #7  
Old 02-29-2012, 11:23 AM
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10 star work Matt

5 days removed I keep remembering little gems from the trip. Friday we arrive at the track and I sit down next to Heels. All of a sudden he is in full out panic mode and starts frantically searching through his pockets. After a period of distress, he produces a crumpled up 2 inch square piece of paper that looks like something he ripped off the corner of the Sky Mall magazine. On it were his pick 4 picks for 3 or 4 tracks. I think Sheets could teach him a thing or two about his preparation, though I'm sure there was at least one signer on that little bugger.
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Old 02-29-2012, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaTH716 View Post
Thanks Dave.
If anyone feels like I missed something feel free to add it.
Also, more importantly I have stumbled on to some video from Derby Lane. Working on getting it loaded up as we speak.
Bravo! That was spectacular. The only thing you missed was Saturday! Beginning with morning glory with exacta and mrs bob, then a trip up to the roof to spend the 3rd race in the grinder booth (and kev doing his grinder impersonation for Richard), to gpk actually collecting a ticket! To me wanting to kill Guidry even more than Friday after his ride on swift warrior. And ending up back in grunder bar, for more show parlaying, and the "Dini phone call".

By the way, you did a super job of hiding your suffering
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  #9  
Old 02-29-2012, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfer View Post
Bravo! That was spectacular. The only thing you missed was Saturday! Beginning with morning glory with exacta and mrs bob, then a trip up to the roof to spend the 3rd race in the grinder booth (and kev doing his grinder impersonation for Richard), to gpk actually collecting a ticket! To me wanting to kill Guidry even more than Friday after his ride on swift warrior. And ending up back in grunder bar, for more show parlaying, and the "Dini phone call".

By the way, you did a super job of hiding your suffering
You forgot gpk screaming like a prepubescent girl in Shea Stadium circa 1966 at Dean Butler as he was getting his pic taken in the winner's circle.

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Butler was mortified and refused to make eye contact as he was hand signaling the security guard in the circle to protect him from whatever was creating that screeching noise in the box area.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigsmc View Post
You forgot gpk screaming like a prepubescent girl in Shea Stadium circa 1966 at Dean Butler as he was getting his pic taken in the winner's circle.

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Deeeeaaaaanooooo!!!

Butler was mortified and refused to make eye contact as he was hand signaling the security guard in the circle to protect him from whatever was creating that screeching noise in the box area.
Mine was a quick outline. I did forget the above occurrence, and your description bout sums it up.
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  #11  
Old 02-29-2012, 01:47 PM
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We may need to apologize to Steve Byk because I think we permanently scarred Seth Merrow's opinion of Derby Trail with that performance on Saturday.

I don't think he was there yet for the now infamous Bernie Butler $30 winner, but he got an eyeful (and an earful) in the Grunder Pub after the card.
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  #12  
Old 02-29-2012, 02:03 PM
Antitrust32 Antitrust32 is offline
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i'm such a dork.

My friend texts me today "is it true"

and I was so giddy to respond "yes it's true"
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Can I start just making stuff up out of thin air, too?
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