Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[Rudeboyelvis]

A guy is in the market for a motorcycle but he doesn't have a lot of cash to spend. He sees an ad in the paper for an older model that is in great shape and goes to investigate.

He shows up, and the thing looks like it had just come out of the showroom.
"How'd you keep it looking so good?", he asks.

"Well, the trick is - every time it looks like it is going to rain, I rub a little Vaseline on the chrome - keeps it tip top."

"I'll take it!" the guy expounds triumphantly. The seller takes the cash and gives him what is left of the tube and he's off.

He rides over to pick up his girlfriend on his new found dream machine.

She gets on the back and says, "Honey, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with my family this evening".

Never having met her parents before, he obliges.

"Well.... there is one thing you need to know about them - there is sort of a peculiar rule in our house. You mustn't say ANYTHING during the meal. If you do, you will have to do the dishes".

He finds this completely strange, but is so smitten with his gal he reassures her that it will be fine.

He shows up promptly and is cordiality invited in, only to find the foyer stacked floor to ceiling with dirty dishes; the same for the living room and the dining room....

They all sit down to their meal - no one saying a word.

At this point, he motions to his girlfriend and throws her up on the dining room table, giving it to her in front of both parents, in a way that would make Ron Jeremy proud.

No one says a word.

Well, Mom ain't looking too bad, what the hell? He throws her mother on the table and start slamming her like she hadn't had it in ages.

Quiet as a church pew.

He looks out the window and notices that it is beginning to rain.

He pulls out the tube of Vaseline and the father screams, "ALRIGHT!! I'LL DO THE FUCl<ING DISHES!!"