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#101
03-17-2015, 08:51 AM
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__________________
We've Gone Delirious 
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#102
03-17-2015, 10:03 AM
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Kavorkic: (pronounced Kuh-Vor-kick)A kavorkic is a person who has Kavorka.Always a male. 
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#103
03-17-2015, 10:43 AM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8BPcnYo7DM
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#104
03-17-2015, 02:04 PM
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From Morty
 ================================================== ======== I am ze wuffie! Yow. I mean....I am ze WOLF!! AAAAND....I am a KARAOKE. Dangerous,filthy,violent;and I are. Arletta,my fine lee-tel Sown Flow-air----thank you for the latest on TR.This is too bad because I thought him a fine horsey.He, too, hates baffert. But what I hate more is... this day:St.Patrick's Day.I guess he was the Catholic Irish Saint of Whiskey.This is how crazy Irish people honor him;by drinking themselves to collapse.And,since it's so fun....those not Irish decide to obtain a temporary Irish Learner's Permit so they too may drink themselves into unconsciousness.Many marrieds will mate,but it will be outside of their vows.In the drunken state,myriad girls will fall for the line,"Lat me geeve you eterrrrnal life ,Meena." Well guess what ,"Meena"? Ejaculate poisoned by whiskey will not give you eternal life. Only radioactive ejaculate can give this gift to you. And who,ya might say, has this gift of eterrrrnal life? Could it be St. David of Wales....perhaps? And who is a direct descendant of St. David? Could it be Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy....perhaps? Is he the MAN WOLF OF FRANKLIN ....CAH-SOL???? Will this bring a new collectors edition of FRANKLIN....CAH-SOL stories???? WHO HERE WANTS ETERRRRRNAL LIFE???? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yziGiVua0Dg But enough about me. No it's not!!!! I am BEAUTIFUL. As you know. I was wrong about NoAdvantage.It's not the place where elephants go to die.Instinct sends them there with the knowledge that if they do die-----NA is where they're going.This is why we never find the elephant burial grounds.Elephants refuse to die.Would you, if you knew NA was your final destination;for eternity?? Is a former NTer going to write an autobiography entitled:AMERICAN DIAPER....? Did John Alite really nail Vicky Gotti? It happened about,oh---- say the 80's.....but she wasn't too happy about that revelation. She got her attorney to arrange for a lie detector test and , after she fucl<ed the tester......she passed!! Her cherished virtue remain in tact.....in the way baffert's does.Speaking of Unbridled Forever......I like her. I should look around and do a Kentucky Tokes Five. wounds in wood do they heal? old wounds heal the hero but wounds in wood....reset to zero Yet another gem by -ALAN-. From FLAKES OF SNOW. I almost did not survive the tidal wave of California Aluminum groupies last year.This year,it's a two headed dragon;and they attach to the flabby body of baffert.I may not make this one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvrupRQD44I Radioactive. eterrrrrnal life ENORMOUS!!
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#105
03-17-2015, 05:12 PM
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#106
03-17-2015, 07:50 PM
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__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#107
03-19-2015, 08:34 PM
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__________________
We've Gone Delirious
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#108
03-20-2015, 03:51 PM
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From the one and only ~ Morty
================================================ Oh my God. Anyways:More Buzzings From Buzzerland with your swell host,Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. By the way, if you would like to directly communicate with Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,you are cordially invited to do so by e-mailing to Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy@Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy.Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. Note the "Attention to" should be directed at Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,of course. Uh,why is it that anything typed about racing in New York---- in a way that can be manipulated( by the paranoid) into being a very broad criticism of New York....is slammed upon immediately by Guards of Gotham?Doesn't matter if it's the NYRA or Aqueduct or Belmont or Saratoga(GOD FORBID!).If it can be even remotely perceived as a negative, you are going to be BEAT for it!! My God.So many with ultra thin skin out there.Usually,there's a reason for that thin skin because as we all know....the number one state and city with the perception of crime and corruption (if not the reality) would be New York and NYC. Huge applause to Mr. Pumpkin for his reply to a DaffyDannyism,"Coming from you (the resident brain surgeon), I take that as a compliment." MMMMMMMAH-VLUS!! Crime and Punishment was good,but not as good a I expected.Dostoevsky gets a little wordy.That 800 pages or so could have happened in Standard American Novella Passing for a Novel in 290 Pages.He gets too close to writing in epistolary form.... like a large part of Brahm Stokers "Dracula".I hate that stuff. Chaucer was great,but give me break already. Canterbury Tales is for the birdies. Gotti Rules is just a little too much to swallow.Like any other thug writing a tell all as though he had an epiphany and can now see( after only 25 years,= or -) how wrong he was.AAAAND!!....it's written on a 4th grade level!! Thank my luckies for dumb rent- an- authors. Now beginning "Danergous Personalities" by an FBI profiler.On has to keep enemies close, but friends closer.Have a feeling it's a template,but will let you know. Did I go off track again(eauxh!! That was a GOOD one!)?? Ah thank ah di-yud. Where have I been the past few days? I'll tell you.I went to Muscle Shoals ,Alabama at the invitation of Arletta.She doesn't live there.I think that's why she invited me.Anyhoo----I stayed at the Red Herring Motel.( really has nothing to do with this short story)I strolled along the banks of the Singing River.I purposely lost my way through their woods and fields;taking in all the air and water that I could.I et copious tree bark and even enjoyed sniffing the 3 day old cedar embers grown right in Muscle Shoals.This gave me a a spiritual high never before attained on ordinary cedar embers.Soon,one of the town's elite children began to speak.She heard me speak and saw my transformation.Helen Keller.She was that person.I learned she was the one who really penned Loan Me A Dime as well as Statesboro Blues,but she insisted Skags and Allman receive the credit. I met Secretariat and Downtown Dollar Billy,too.They're all here.All the finest horsey's,songwriters/players and the best Hershey bars ah ever et.Even the Chocolate Choctaw,TeePee McKay, was born here in Muscle Shoals.John F. Kennedy calls this place his home.He plays in a band with Elmore James and Blind Willie McTell on weekends.My transformation has taken me to an even higher plane.My Beautiful Mind has become almost grotesquely bloated with beauty.There is an abundance of noodle wealth that I will soon vomit out onto to these i-net pages. Thank you ,Arletta, for this invitation.You were right;it's a place unmatched in spiritual flora and fauna and yer what not.....you were also right in that you don't live there.I should have put that together.Oh well, maybe some day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTFvAvsHC_Y THE SPIRAL NOTEBOOK 1....HOYLE ONE According to me;this is not a card game. Ridiculous. Crinkle.... trash can 2....FIG FAMILY Nor is this Genesis!! Outrageous. Crinkle.... trash can 3....WATCHYEROWNBOOBEE'S Oh my God. Crinkle.... trash can 4....Wireless Future Then there is no chance of wiring it. Nor what have you. Crinkle.... trash can 5....Another Lemon GMC lives!!!! More Fiero's and Jimmy's ! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!! thud 6....SCRATCHED No shot. Crinkle.... trash can 7....MAGIC OF BELIEVING Great book written in a great year. KEEPAH!! 8.... Phooey. Crinkle.... trash can 9....CONQUEST TYPHOON KEEPAH-KEEPAH!! 10....FIRE SPIKE OK. He be far'd. Crinkle.... trash can 11....METATOSS Another good idea. Crinkle.... trash can 12....DON'T BUY PIE BLECH! I LOVE pie!! Crink-EL! trash can CONQUEST TYPHOON to win MAGIC OF BELIEVING as exacta buddy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akdVy_H7tPI THE FUNLAND DERBY Let's watch. Should be fun. 1....FIRING LINE He got in the same line as Fire Spike. He be far'd too. =:> Crinkle.... trash can 2....Gourd Nelson Contracted PayBobitis. Crinkle.... trash can 3....WHAT'S THE HURRY A VERY bad name for a race horsey. Crinkle.... trash can.... 4....WHY TWO WHY NOT? KEEPAH!! 5....CARIBOU LOGO Rack 'em. Crink-EL.... trash can 6....TIZNOTNOW Good. Crinkle.... trash can 7....THE GOD THREAD AT NA I wish this one would stop it! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! thud 8....DIRT MONSTER Cleanliness is next to Godliness. You filthy swine. Crinkle.... trash can WHY TWO TO WIN. it's midnight at the....CAH-SOL the wolf's looking for you in bed you better not care....at all or- else it's off with you're pretty head! Speaking of Patrick Bateman;I notice he's here at NT.Oh he's gained several pounds and has gone completely bald....but he''s here.Has that look of the psychopath. Bee careful honey's!!
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#109
03-20-2015, 03:57 PM
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#110
03-20-2015, 07:49 PM
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__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#111
03-23-2015, 05:40 PM
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From Morty
================================================== ====== i-net Drive By's: Old stuff.Too much of too little. You know who's the worst though? Cardvark.Cadvark is to professional Drive By's as OJ Simpson is to criminal masterminds. A BIG embarrassment Cardvark drives to a stop,rolls his winder down------and gets hit with a pie. Now that is BAD drive by. Famous people I admire: The great horsey trainer/actor,Clarke Stable. The Christmas actress,Yuley Garland. The President,Abraham Edsel. The singer/morals philosopher,Dreg Allman The duo of horsey picker and Good Fella's leg breaker,Stevie 5 Picks and Jimmy Two Times. The great opera singer/photography enthusiast,Luciano Paparazzi. The louty,over zealous ham band leader of the 50's and 60's,Phooey Prima. The greatest baseball pitcher of all time who happened to be yellow,Bob Lemon. The greatest purple quarterback of all time,Milt Plum. The great make up producer/horrible housekeeper,Messy Lauder. Can there be a dumber horsey board fan than GetSmartMan at NA? I don't know if we can count Funny Jones here at NT.If Jihad Scientist were still around, it would be mighty close. CLYDEFORM!! New Kentucky Fried Five: 1....FarFromOver 2....International Star 3....Conquest Typhoon 4....WarStory 5....ProspectPark 6....MadeFromLucky 7....Frammento CLYDEFORM!! New Kentucky Tokes Five: 1....Ekati's Phaeton 2....Light The City 3....Forever Unbridled 4....ByThe Moon 5....EskenForMoney 6....Harlans Destiny 7....DianneStillWorks Well I forgot what I was talking about.I would think you did too, so no big deal.Dangerous Personalities: I was right.It blows----big time. I think we all remember what Franklin....CAH-SOL is about and it's appearance.The man who was infected by ze werewolf and ze Dracula and( new attraction!) ze radiation still haunts the....CAH-SOL.He lusts for human female flesh.He wants to geeve them eterrrrnal life. They want it ,too O=:> These are Ladies of the Tight. They are curvy with bright tail feathers and beauty in the face.Dreamers of ENORMOUS cocks and wanters of eterrrrnal life.I know them;you know them.I will put on my future thinking cap and give the stories of what will happen to these Women on the Dark Side of the Street. They attract Oncoming Traffic. These are not mine, but how I wish they were: "Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines." "Vegetarian: An Indian word for lousy hunter." I think I will be more appreciated after you ingest this one: "A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness." "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm2YyVZBL8U The lull in this one had to come from Muscle Shoals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0rW4F36uao Ah be tar'd.Who am I? Why, I am Mortimer Dexter Fozworthy. By the way, if you would like to directly communicate with Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,you are cordially invited to do so by e-mailing to Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy@Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy.Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy. Note the "Attention to" should be directed at Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,of course. Always remember:If it's in the night,when it's dark....and you are all alone,in the park;beware.For you can never be too far from Franklin....CAH-SOL. Just ask the fridge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3gp_IqtHTo
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#112
03-23-2015, 06:50 PM
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"Vegetarian: An Indian word for lousy hunter."
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#114
03-24-2015, 07:31 PM
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__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#115
03-24-2015, 07:35 PM
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To Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy,
ATTENTION Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy!!!! Three big KD preps this Saturday, The Florida Sunbathers Derby, The Louisiana Cajun Derby, and The UAE (Unicorns, Anteaters, and Elephants) Derby. Can't wait for the ClydeForm picks!!!
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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#116
03-24-2015, 07:48 PM
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__________________
Tod Marks Photo - Daybreak over Oklahoma
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#117
03-26-2015, 03:21 PM
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From Morty
=============================================== Mr. Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy has been summoned to represent the CLYDEFORM!! most excellent analysis of the Louisiana Ragin'Cajun Derby: (By the way, if you would like to directly communicate with Mr....oh never mind.) 1....STANFORD They should not travel out of the PAC-10. So no. Crinkle.... trash can 2....MR. Z Close,but missing the C. Too bad. Crinkle.... trash can 3....DEFONDO This is a filthy Italian word and has no place in horsey racing. Girls Roller Derby,yes. Horsey racing,no. Crinkle.... trash can 4....Huh? Oh just forget it. Crinkle.... trash can 5....A PLAY WITH A PAIR-A-DICE Box cars. Blech. Crinkle.... trash can 6....WAR STORY KEEPAH!! 7....KEEN ICE KEEPAH! 8....ST. JOE BOY John Boy worshiped him. Reason enough. Crinkle.... trash can 9....MR. MORTIM----UPS!!.....I mean,INTERNATIONAL STAR KEEPAH-KEEPAH!! 1....INTERNATIONAL STAR 2....KEEN ICE 3....WAR STORY
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#118
03-26-2015, 05:10 PM
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Who doesn't love a spirited game of "I've Got Your Tongue?!"
https://twitter.com/DRFLivingston/st...09983863390208
__________________
Tod Marks Photo - Daybreak over Oklahoma
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#119
03-27-2015, 10:54 AM
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From Morty
================================================== ======== Say! How 'bout a spirited game of "WHERE ARE MY BOO BEE'S!!?" So much fun! But seriously. It's time for CLYDEFORM!! extraordinary analysis of the FLORIDA NIKIDIE SUNBATHERS DERBY: 1....AMI'S TWAT Oh my god!! thud! Crinkle.... trash can 2....JACK'S TIP Oh my GOD!! THUD! Crinkle.... trash can 3....R U NAUGHTY HOLY COW!! THUD!!!! Crinkle.... trash can 4....NIKIDIE KNOCKOUT WHOA!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! Crinkle.... trash can 5....QUIMET FILTHY!! Crinkle.... trash can 6....MY POINT EXACTLY OHMYGOD!!!!!!! THUD!! Crinkle.... trash can 7....MATERIALITY Finally a decent,moral American horsey. KEEPAH!! 8....TAKE A BREAST AAAAHHHH!!!! THUD! Crinkle.... trash can 9....UPSKIRT BASEBALL!! THUD!!!!!!! Crinkle.... trash can MATERIALITY to win this shameful display of debauchery.
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#120
03-27-2015, 11:55 AM
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I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said "I boobies". I thought of you.
__________________
Hillary Clinton 2016: The "Extremely Careless" Leadership America Needs!
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