Fun racing themed vacation backfires

[Calzone Lord]

Day #1 : Tuesday -

I was able to beg -- so the vacation starts with opening day at Presque Isle Downs.




After the races at PID on Tuesday -- we go out and eat.

After that, we go back to my house. I need to get some clothes, a toothbrush, some deodorant.

I am a very boring nerd in reality -- so I thought I would surprise the girlfriend when I also brought out a bottle of whiskey and a loaded .25 caliber handgun...kind of another in a long line of clever misdirections to make her think I'm not as boring as I really am.






I told her everyone in West Va carries Whiskey and concealed handguns with them ... but she started bitching and demanded I leave both behind.

I compromised and left the gun behind -- and poured the Whiskey into an empty Gatorade Bottle because her objection to that was the open container law in this state.

The whole way down I am chugging on whiskey mixed with Coca-cola. By the time we get to Pittsburgh I am truthfully belligerently drunk.

I tell the girlfriend to stop in a parking lot -- and I start pissing in the middle of the parking lot and laughing hysterically. The whole time she is acting very annoyed... even though she is sober, driving, and has nothing to worry about.


I insisted we go and eat at this place in Pittsburgh ... because I saw it on a Man VS Food Episode.