Fun racing themed vacation backfires
 

Day #1 : Tuesday -

I was able to beg -- so the vacation starts with opening day at Presque Isle Downs.




After the races at PID on Tuesday -- we go out and eat.

After that, we go back to my house. I need to get some clothes, a toothbrush, some deodorant.

I am a very boring nerd in reality -- so I thought I would surprise the girlfriend when I also brought out a bottle of whiskey and a loaded .25 caliber handgun...kind of another in a long line of clever misdirections to make her think I'm not as boring as I really am.






I told her everyone in West Va carries Whiskey and concealed handguns with them ... but she started bitching and demanded I leave both behind.

I compromised and left the gun behind -- and poured the Whiskey into an empty Gatorade Bottle because her objection to that was the open container law in this state.

The whole way down I am chugging on whiskey mixed with Coca-cola. By the time we get to Pittsburgh I am truthfully belligerently drunk.

I tell the girlfriend to stop in a parking lot -- and I start pissing in the middle of the parking lot and laughing hysterically. The whole time she is acting very annoyed... even though she is sober, driving, and has nothing to worry about.


I insisted we go and eat at this place in Pittsburgh ... because I saw it on a Man VS Food Episode.

Finally ... we arrive at our hotel ... it's located in the Mountaineer Park Casino.



Presque Isle Downs comp guy was nice enough to hook me up with a free hotel room ... so that made staying at MTR's hotel a no-brainer.


We got to bed at about 4AM.

Day #2: Wednesday:

We get up around noon and drive to Wheeling Downs for the 17-race Greyhound racing Matinee and some simulcast horse racing action.






Puppy dogs wearing rain coats ...




However, outrage would strike in Wed's 12th race at Wheeling Downs!

I made a $10 win bet on Explosive Trent. As you can see -- Explosive Trent's only weakness is the fact that she is a slow breaking dog.


Amazingly, Explosive Trent breaks on top and establishes a 3-length lead going into the 1st turn. I tell my girlfriend -- "It's over baby! She'll win this easy from there!" ... just when victory seemed certain, Explosive Trent runs into the freaking mechanical rabbit and ends up finishing last!




My win ticket on a certain winner ends up being a refund -- and the race gets declared a "No Race" ... I tell my girlfriend that I should go outside and heckle the freaking inbred idiot who was operating the mechanical rabbit lure that day.

We have Primanti Bros.here--there is one about 3 miles from my house. WAY, WAY overrated.

Still, the highlight of the day was seeing a place right next to the Wheeling Dog Track called "Godfather's Gentelman's Club, Coffee Shop, and Steak House"



Or ... "Coffee, steak, and AIDS" as my girlfriend called it. She would not visit.


After we left Wheeling Downs ... we drove back to Mountaineer Park that evening.

Once we got to Mountaineer -- I told my girlfriend I would take her to the backside of the racetrack so she could pet some race horses. However, the backside was fenced off and the moron guard working the gate wouldn't let us walk in.

However, we noticed that some of the barns down the line had cutout back windows. I made some smooching noises to them and we got to do a little horse petting.



This guy here was at first a little startled and was wondering why two people would be sneaking up on the back of his stall.


Day #3: Thursday:

We start the day off by wondering to the backside and in the stable area during training hours.

This time, no guards bothered us and we got to talk to a few jockeys, agents, and trainers.

At about 10AM -- we left for the world famous Cedar Point Amusement Park.

This is when my girlfriend turned into a raging bitch/sissy.

She wouldn't ride any of the high, tall, fast, world famous roller coasters -- and after I tried to pick her up and carry her into a line for one of them -- she punched me until I would let her go and leave the line.

This is her, trying to hide behind a garbage can...as I am forced to ride the 'Tower of Power' all by myself.





Cedar Point was basically the worst date I have ever been on -- and it should have been fun as hell. She claimed she has a fear of heights, motion sickness, and blah blah blah.




This is her on the ride home back to Erie -- as I was trying to explain to her that driving a vehicle is a thousand times more dangerous than riding a roller coaster.

Here is Explosive Trent's pps.

Yeah.

The Food in West Va was pretty sub-par though...so it was a prettiest girl at the fat camp kind of deal.

Glad your back

Out of a sense of fair play, you ought to let her post her side of the story.

Why? Can she make him look even worse?

He's not very good at putting himself into the shoes of others, thus I fully trust his accounting of these events.

Good to see the original Primanti Bros still in business. It used to be a truck-drivers restaurant and later night stopover. In college, when doing "all-nighters", it was obligatory to take a break a Primanti Bros. One night after ordering their signature cheesesteak sandwich (fries and cole slaw always were served on top of the sandwich), in waltzes David Bowie and his entourage after a concert at the Civic Arena that night...fun place...

I Cannot believe you got a woman to adhere to that itinerary. What a great vacation.

Sorry to hear she disnt enjoy Cedar Point it's a blast there. Take her to Put N Bay next time and there's an otb right by Cedar Point called Thirsty Pony. It's owned by Northfield Park

So did you dump her,and,did she swallow????

Shoulda stopped right there.

:D
:tro:

The only thing even remotely unbelievable about my account --- is of the 12th race at Wheeling Downs on Wed ... when my dog in the Grade AA race ran into the freaking mechanical rabbit.

However, I'm sure you could find a replay of it at any of the greyhound sites.

I would have cashed a $10 win bet on it -- but my exotics probably all would have tanked because the 1 dog blew the break and wasn't getting 3rd.

It sounds like a kind of a nightmare trip for her no doubt. On a serious note, anytime i have been on vacation, and there have been ALOT of them. I always make sure there is atleast one day of racing involved...Somewhere sometime, someplace.
If its Fla, Canada, PR, NY or wherever.....but thats just it, if she doesnt really enjoy it, well then just make it like a 3 days no track to one day track deal....
Thats just my 2 cents....

If it wasn't destined to be one for her ... I think I put the nail in the coffin by repeatedly singing 'Country Roads' by John Denver -- every day while we drove.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN86d0CdgHQ

I'm not sure it's possible to sing as poorly as I do. I don't know why, but my voice sounds terrible when I sing.

She attends the races with you, chauffeur's you around while you're getting wasted, and doesn't need to appear on the Biggest Loser. What are you waiting for? Propose to this woman !!!

How does a dog run into the mechanical rabbit?? I didn't think that was even possible, it's on a track inside the rail.

And who doesn't like Cedar Point?!?