The Cleveland Sporty Page

[horseofcourse]

classic stuff here!!

Chicago White Sox


Can’t talk about the Chicago White Sox without expressing a pure, unadulterated hatred for Ozzie Guillen. Not much elaboration needs to be made here because I’m pretty sure Ozzie’s middle name is an orifice that ends in –hole, but I can say with complete conviction that his choking gesture during the final week of the 2005 season sealed the deal.

The term “Indian killer” doesn’t just apply to white settlers during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, it applies to everybody who has ever worn a White Sox uniform. Lately, public enemy number one seems to be Carlos Quentin. Then, of course, there’s Paul Konerko who seems to have a 1.500 OPS against the Indians and Adam Dunn, who can’t hit an elephant with a golf ball but can hit Indians pitching like a Hall of Famer.

I can’t believe I went two paragraphs without mentioning uber-douche AJ Pierzynski. Usually the runaway winner of the biggest jerk in baseball award, his bleach blonde hair makes me want to shave his head with a machete. The way he slams his bat down every time he hits a ground ball as if he’s supposed to be a .370 hitter screams of pretentious arrogance that only a mother could love. A motherf’er like Ozzie Guillen, that is.

Also, I can’t say I have ever been to Comiskey, er, US Cellular Field, but I’ve been told that there are safer neighborhoods in Mogadishu than where US Cellular has been constructed. A garbage ballpark in a garbage neighborhood with a bunch of grimy Windy City residents, probably half of them armed and three-fourths of them too wide to fit through a standard doorway, I’m in no hurry to ever see it.

Oh, yeah, and then there’s Hawk Harrelson. If there was an award for most intolerable sports broadcaster, this clown would even beat Joe Buck. That’s saying something. It really is. If Hawk Harrelson’s vocal cords were to spontaneously combust, there would be dancing in the streets in Athens, Greece. They wouldn’t even know who he is; they would just subconsciously know they should celebrate.

Detroit Tigers


Ah, where to begin with these mouth breathers. I’ll guess I’ll begin with Jim Leyland, who is pretty lucky to be breathing at all. At some point, 75 years of smoking Pall Malls will catch up with Smokey Anderson, but it hasn’t happened yet. Nothing really against his persona or his managing style, I guess, I just wish he’d shave off that grey flavor savor and retire to a smoker’s colony in South Florida. Then again, maybe the secondhand smoke will begin taking its toll on his players.

Then, there’s the fact that a vast percentage of their fan base is made up of Michigan fans. Again, very little explanation needs to be done here because everything from Michigan is inherently loathesome including the maize and blue. Unfortunately, in the War of 1812, the United States actually battled for the port city of Detroit. Now that the automobile industry is on life support, and the multi-building monstrosity of Government Motors looms over the city, I’d be fine with giving it to Canada. There’s a reason I stay and play at Caesars Windsor in Ontario rather than stay in Detroit, and it’s not the pretty colored Monopoly money or a burning desire to hear “aboot” and “eh”.

Factor in the overall arrogance of their players, capped off by Carlos Guillen showing up Jered Weaver a couple weeks back. Then there’s Miguel Cabrera’s smirk any time he does anything – fields a routine grounder, hits a single to CF, brushes his teeth in the morning, etc. Then there’s Jhonny Peralta with his chinstrap beard and fat face, showing that same apathetic expression that inexplicably turned him from a .270 hitter to a .320 hitter. Add in Jose Valverde who uses every converted save as his “Asshole NFL Wide Receiver Touchdown Dance” Audition Tape.

Beating them just seems satisfying no matter the circumstances. When we’re 20 games out in September or in MLB The Show. Whether they’re 25 games out or in Spring Training. It’s just enjoyable.

[clyde]

Not bad, but your verse is better.Who did that?



Out current budding super pitcher star goes tonight.

And we didn'un have to give up the farm for him.

Bet he shuts down Detroit.

[horseofcourse]

Originally Posted by clyde

Not bad, but your verse is better.Who did that?



Out current budding super pitcher star goes tonight.

And we didn'un have to give up the farm for him.

Bet he shuts down Detroit.

Some guy on a cleveland fan web site, don't know his name...I could look it up. I pull a lot of stuff from that site, they are much better than the professional Cleveland sports media despite not being professionals although a couple guys who write there might be. clevelandfan.com or something. I wanted 3-3 this road trip and If Huff doesn't do it, don't worry, we got the great O Bald O going Sunday! He never loses. (theclevelandfan.com this one was by Adam Burke)

[clyde]

Was a little too "cool" for me.



Anyhoo----good stuff.

I''m thinking Colorado is stifling many guffaws.

[horseofcourse]

Originally Posted by clyde

Was a little too "cool" for me.



Anyhoo----good stuff.

I''m thinking Colorado is stifling many guffaws.

I post on the forum over there sometimes, but I got a lot of backlash presenting stats stating we pretty much traded for a comp of Fausto Carmona and Carlos Carrasco this year and there was plenty of stats that you could argue that Obaldo was not even as good as them. They did not like me much at all for doing that especially when I stated all they did was attack Exhausto and Carrasco all year, rightly so in some cases yet this guy comes who is the same and you same people talk about a savior of the city. I felt pride though when after the game Tuesday and they were bemoaning the Exhausto/Buehrle matchup I flat out said in a post "Fausto is better than Jimenez" You should have seen the reaction that got!!

[clyde]

Originally Posted by horseofcourse

I post on the forum over there sometimes, but I got a lot of backlash presenting stats stating we pretty much traded for a comp of Fausto Carmona and Carlos Carrasco this year and there was plenty of stats that you could argue that Obaldo was not even as good as them. They did not like me much at all for doing that especially when I stated all they did was attack Exhausto and Carrasco all year, rightly so in some cases yet this guy comes who is the same and you same people talk about a savior of the city. I felt pride though when after the game Tuesday and they were bemoaning the Exhausto/Buehrle matchup I flat out said in a post "Fausto is better than Jimenez" You should have seen the reaction that got!!

Boy do I know that drill.


That's why I quit those places;implacable homers..to the point I have to think Shapiro has either a HUGE family or a small one with lots of time on their hands.


Boy, it's about 90 here and manual mowing is not easy.However I am mowing nude again and my woody got 67 thumbs up.I've been thinking of Brown Sugah catching and giving signs between her legs.

[horseofcourse]

Originally Posted by clyde

Boy do I know that drill.


That's why I quit those places;implacable homers..to the point I have to think Shapiro has either a HUGE family or a small one with lots of time on their hands.


Boy, it's about 90 here and manual mowing is not easy.However I am mowing nude again and my woody got 67 thumbs up.I've been thinking of Brown Sugah catching and giving signs between her legs.

I understand the sentiment and I understand making a trade when you're in contention but the complete ignoral of what they traded for is stunning. It's, well ignore his Coors field stats?? Who ignored them in 2010 when he pitched great there? It's, well he pitched well the month before the trade and ignore his first two months and his last 4 or 5 starts. We can't ignore what Fausto did for a month in mid May to mid June, no one ignores that nor should they. He was horrendous. No one ignores Carrasco stunk in July after a brilliant month and a half earlier nor should they. Yet every single fan and sport writer wants to ignore the obvious facts of a bad year by Jimenez this year. It make no sense. The only consistently good starting pitchers have been Masterson and Tomlin. Tomlin's got his gopher ball issues and he really can't go very deep...he'll get you 6 or 7 like clockwork, but by that 4th time through the order it's rough for him.

Fausto is the whipping boy for fans and media which is both fair and unfair. A great start from him like Wednesday was treated as an abnormality and outrageous. But the truth is and I have shown many people it is actually more normal for Fausto to have a start like that than Ubaldo THIS year. Jimenez has been every bit as wildly sporadic as Fausto this year. Fausto has actually had two up periods this year, the first month and a half and the last couple months. Ubaldo has only had one. I really dissected all of Jimenez' starts this year to try to make sense of the trade and it's not really a pretty picture how he has pitched this year. We've been playing baseball for close to 5 months now and Ubaldo has had one good stretch for a month and a half. That's it...it stretched into the latter portions of July so I guess that's why they figured out it was solved by him on the Tribe side, but since that stretch it's been disastrous for him again.

No way the Rockies try to trade a guy this supposedly good unless something's wrong. I'm pretty certain the Tigers found something in his delivery that he's tipping something as Verlander pitched Tuesday and they aren't starting him Sunday...why not?? Makes no sense to me unless they found something with Jimenez as they didn't hit him much last time.

I really want the guy to do well, but the obvious facts of the situation are not pretty and make not a whole lot of sense. For me, it's simply Carrasco is on the DL and we got a guy to replace him who pitches pretty much exactly like him, and saying stuff like that on that clevelandfan board just doesn't cut it!!