|
|
 |
|
|
|
#1
02-09-2011, 06:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
stop me if you heard this one
What does a girl from Kentucky say after she loses her virginity?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . get off me dad - you're crushin' my smokes 
__________________
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ Last edited by AeWingnut : 02-09-2011 at 06:16 PM. Reason: more spaces 
|
|
#2
02-11-2011, 05:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
What’s Up, Doc
I just turned 70 and after a thorough physical
and a series of exhaustive tests my physician said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” “Do you smoke tobacco,” he asked, “or drink beer or wine?” “No,” I replied, “and I don’t do drugs, either anymore.” Then he asked, “Do you eat ribeye steaks and barbecued ribs?” “Not very often,” I admitted. “I’ve read that red meat is unhealthy.” Then he asked, “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?” “No,” I said, “I really don’t.” “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have lots of sex?” “No,” I answered. He looked at me for a while and finally said, “Then why do you even give a shit?”
__________________
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
|
|
#3
02-11-2011, 07:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
anagrams
Presbyterian = Best In Prayer Astronomer = Moon Starer Desperation = A Rope Ends It The Eyes = They See George Bush = He Bugs Gore The Morse Code = Here Come Dots Dormitory = Room Slot Machines = Cash Lost In Me Animosity = Is No Amity Election Results = Lies - Let's Recount Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z 's A Decimal Point = I'm A Dot In Place The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake Eleven Plus Two = Twelve Plus One Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
__________________
I l  Cigar, Medaglia d'Oro, Big Brown, Curlin, Rachel Alexandra, Silver Charm, First Samurai, Sumwonlovesyou, Lloydobler, Ausable Chasm, AND Prince Will I Am "Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” Cecil Beaton
|
|
#4
02-14-2011, 05:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
__________________
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
|
|
#5
02-18-2011, 04:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Beavers
__________________
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
|
|
#6
02-19-2011, 05:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings." Louisiana A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world." Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." Tennessee A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
__________________
I l Cigar, Medaglia d'Oro, Big Brown, Curlin, Rachel Alexandra, Silver Charm, First Samurai, Sumwonlovesyou, Lloydobler, Ausable Chasm, AND Prince Will I Am "Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” Cecil Beaton
|
|
#7
02-19-2011, 08:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I just watched Drugs' movie again!
Like seinfeld you find something new everytime but unless you've seen the first couple seasons it doesn't make sense. Masterpiece! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zwL9KllwSw
__________________
“To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.” Thomas Jefferson
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
