Joke of the Day

[Downthestretch55]

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men's barracks. He asked the sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?" The sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel." The captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all right with me." After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the captain could not stand it anymore, so he told his sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captain's quarters. The captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants he asked the sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

The sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

[timmgirvan]

DTS: loved the 10/14 post!! I've seen good stuff before, but always thought it might be too long to post....people are usually too impatient to read something more than 2 paragraphs!

[Downthestretch55]

Originally Posted by timmgirvan

DTS: loved the 10/14 post!! I've seen good stuff before, but always thought it might be too long to post....people are usually too impatient to read something more than 2 paragraphs!

Timm,
Good that you enjoyed it.
Just trying to bring a smile to those that take the time.
DTS

[Downthestretch55]

In the Confessional

An old man went into confession and told the priest: "Father,I`m 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls.Twice."
"I see," said the priest. "When was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never,Father", replied the old man. "I`m Jewish"
"So why are you telling me?"
"I`m telling everybody!"

[Downthestretch55]

A condom
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

[Downthestretch55]

Stiff Neck

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

[bogeydaman]

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was con cerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girls nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst... My wife came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you... '

What do you do if you are locked in a room with a terrorist, a serial killer, and a lawyer and you have a gun with only two bullets?















Shoot the lawyer twice!!!!!!!!!!!!