Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[clyde]

There must be someone.

[herkhorse]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding
on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out

there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
God loves drunk people too.”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing set!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[clyde]

Say,anyone hear ...........










.......oh what's the use.

[herkhorse]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

[herkhorse]

say, what happened to DrugS' joke? I liked it.

[northeastbound123]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

say, what happened to DrugS' joke? I liked it.

It was funny, really hope someone didn't get all bent out of shape about it.

[herkhorse]

New golf terms
> >
> >
> > A 'Rock Hudson' - a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.
> >
> > A 'Saddam Hussein'- from one bunker into another.
> >
> > A 'Yasser Arafat' - butt ugly and in the sand.
> >
> > A 'John Kennedy Jr.' - didn't quite make it over the water.
> >
> > A 'Rodney King' - over-clubbed.
> >
> > An 'O.J.'- got away with one.
> >
> > A 'Princess Grace' - should have used a driver.
> >
> > A 'Princess Di' - shouldn't have used the driver.
> >
> > A 'Condom' - safe, but didn't feel very good.
> >
> > A 'Brazilian' - shaved the hole.
> >
> > A 'Rush Limbaugh' - a little to the right.
> >
> > A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way to the left and out of bounds.
> >
> > A 'James Joyce' - a putt that's impossible to read.
> >
> > A 'Ted Kennedy' - goes in the water and jumps out.
> >
> > A 'Pee Wee Herman' - too much wrist.
> >
> > A 'Sonny Bono' - straight into the trees.
> >
> > A 'Paris Hilton' - a very expensive hole.
> >
> > A 'Hitler'- two shots in the bunker.
> >
> > A 'Monica Lewinsky' - all lip, no hole.
> >
> > A 'Sister-In-Law' - You know you're up there, but you shouldn't be.
> >
> >