Moose an early arrival at Spa

[Riot]

The Moose - by Woody Allen, Stand Up Comedian

I shot a moose, once.

I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.

It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious.

And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday.

And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.

So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door.

I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.

Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burkowitz's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitz's lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious.

Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burkowitz's.

So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.

The following morning the Burkowitz's wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.

Originally Posted by Riot

The Moose - by Woody Allen, Stand Up Comedian

I shot a moose, once.

I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.

It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious.

And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday.

And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.

So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door.

I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.

Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burkowitz's, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitz's lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious.

Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burkowitz's.

So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.

The following morning the Burkowitz's wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted.

Damn I remember that.
I got in trouble in High School
for reading Woody Allen books during
yes indeed...
Biology.

[Riot]

Originally Posted by pgardn

Damn I remember that.
I got in trouble in High School
for reading Woody Allen books during
yes indeed...
Biology.

Eh, all that "opinion" stuff, biology, not like physics, something real you can sink your teeth into!

But then came ... quantum mechanics ....

Originally Posted by Riot

Eh, all that "opinion" stuff, biology, not like physics, something real you can sink your teeth into!

But then came ... quantum mechanics ....

Probabilty on speed.
Absolutely bizarre stuff.

Woody Allen is much better.
Although more perverse as it ages.

I still dont get how there is a moose
in Saratoga in the summer. Is Saratoga
a suburb of Anchorage?

[Hickory Hill Hoff]

Great PR for the upcoming Saratoga meet!

[Riot]

Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article about NY moose in the paper today ... appears Heather is rather rare!

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/12/27/sc...tml?sec=health

[SniperSB23]

Originally Posted by Riot

Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article about NY moose in the paper today ... appears Heather is rather rare!

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/12/27/sc...tml?sec=health

You got the December 27th, 1983 newspaper delivered today?

Originally Posted by Riot

Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article about NY moose in the paper today ... appears Heather is rather rare!

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/12/27/sc...tml?sec=health

Heather will also stomp the crap out of any
handicapper if she has a calf around her.
They are not pleasant animals with young
present.

OK so its out of date. How many Saratoga folks
have seen a moose in their village?

Originally Posted by Riot

Believe it or not, the NY Times has an article about NY moose in the paper today ... appears Heather is rather rare!

http://www.nytimes.com/1983/12/27/sc...tml?sec=health

That was before global warming started.

[Bigsmc]

Some of Pillow's finest work to date...





...all it is lacking is the ever-present Blockatiel.