The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise

[Downthestretch55]

Pretty good one, Spyder.

Here's one....

The family was gathered to decorate the Christmas tree. Young son asks Daddy, "Is it ok for us males to look at women's boobs?"
Daddy says, "Sure, you've probably noticed that every woman has her own unique set. When a woman is in her twenties to thirty, they are round and ripe like gorgeous melons, when she's in her forties they're like pears, still sweet. When she's past fifty, they're like onions."
"Onions???" the boy asks.
"yes, once you look at 'em, you want to cry."

Then the little daughter chimes in.
"Mommy, are all men's penises alike?"
Mommy says, "Oh no! When a man is in his twenties, he's like an oak. Strong, tall, and solid wood. In his thirties and forties, he's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After fifty, he's about like this here Christmas tree a week after Christmas."
"How's that Mommy? daughter asks.
Well, it's pretty much dried up and the balls are just hanging there for decoration."

[GenuineRisk]

Spyder, that was hilarious.

[Mortimer]

I really thought V. Gina's response would be a simple "eat me."

[AeWingnut]

"Life is a banquet














SO EAT ME"

[hi_im_god]

everyone needs to raise their standards.

instant classic?

hilarious?

i'd go with retarded and sad.

you people must love carrot top.

it's a talking penis. laying out 20 year old material.

and the smack from v. gina (get it!). that's fresh.

all this string is missing is the married with children sound track.

wooooooooooooooh! (<----rising, then falling)

[hi_im_god]

Originally Posted by Downthestretch55

Pretty good one, Spyder.

Here's one....

The family was gathered to decorate the Christmas tree. Young son asks Daddy, "Is it ok for us males to look at women's boobs?"
Daddy says, "Sure, you've probably noticed that every woman has her own unique set. When a woman is in her twenties to thirty, they are round and ripe like gorgeous melons, when she's in her forties they're like pears, still sweet. When she's past fifty, they're like onions."
"Onions???" the boy asks.
"yes, once you look at 'em, you want to cry."

Then the little daughter chimes in.
"Mommy, are all men's penises alike?"
Mommy says, "Oh no! When a man is in his twenties, he's like an oak. Strong, tall, and solid wood. In his thirties and forties, he's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After fifty, he's about like this here Christmas tree a week after Christmas."
"How's that Mommy? daughter asks.
Well, it's pretty much dried up and the balls are just hanging there for decoration."

in some alternate universe there is a reader's digest that would accept the words "boobs" and "penis" where this was the best joke ever published.

[TheSpyder]

So God,

Who put you in charge? What happened to that "judge not" thing?

[Mortimer]

He shouldn't take any lip from V.Gina.

[AeWingnut]

https://store.puscifer.com/frameset.html

[Mortimer]

Clit Eastwood is a sissy.

[hi_im_god]

Originally Posted by TheSpyder

So God,

Who put you in charge? What happened to that "judge not" thing?

all i'm asking is that comedy be left to the pro's.

if you've sunk to repeating a 20 year old joke, you're not funny.

you know why i don't post any picks on the site?

i'm a terrible handicapper. i learned my limits and don't inflict my poor opinion's on other's.

i know funny though. and judging by that abortion you posted to start this string, you don't have any.

v. gina and p. niss. my god.

oh, the humanity!!!

[Mortimer]

Or he could have said to her...you can't.

[TheSpyder]

[quote=hi_im_god]i learned my limits and don't inflict my poor opinion's on other's.
quote]

ahhhhhhhhhhh, in a selective way I guess. So why give it here?
Spyder

[hi_im_god]

[quote=TheSpyder]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

i learned my limits and don't inflict my poor opinion's on other's.
quote]

ahhhhhhhhhhh, in a selective way I guess. So why give it here?
Spyder

zing!

woooooooooh! (<---rising, then falling)

[hi_im_god]

[quote=TheSpyder]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

i learned my limits and don't inflict my poor opinion's on other's.
quote]

ahhhhhhhhhhh, in a selective way I guess. So why give it here?
Spyder

dy-no-mite!!!!!!

[hi_im_god]

ding-ding-ding-ding ding!!!!!

it's the morning zoo with spyder and the baby!!!!