What Mortimer Did For Me

Originally Posted by pgardn

Yes. Sort of........
Hoos would believe me to be the good looking girl in the yellow.

OMG IS THAT BAD.

The original is bad enough...
but they squared the bad
in India.

I have completely lost respect
for that country. Lord that is
so bad... Gonna show this to
my daugher. She will have to
change her underwear after the
viewing Im quite sure.

CPR may be in order to quell
the laughter. My wife will have
that task.

Well if that doesn't kill them, this will..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo

Originally Posted by Pillow Pants

Well if that doesn't kill them, this will..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo

OK.
Ya probably wont believe this.
I played that for my classes before
U-tube became "illegal".

And yes indeed we did dance.

Doot, Doot,
uhn
Doot, Doot,
uhn
Doot, Doot,
uhn

DA DA DA

damn fine dancing music.

getta downa, getta funkya - Lawrence Welk

[Mortimer]

Hello.

My name is Alan Speegish....great American novelist...prose aand poetry writer...biographer..and antagonist of the antiChrist...Christopher Hitchens.

As you know..my good friend and yours has died.I knew hm well and have observed his fine work for many years.Who would have thought this great intellectual was born in poverty in an old log cabin inthe backwoods of Macon,Ga.


Abdandon at the young age of 4 months..Mortimer was raised by a pack of vicious wolves . This is where he received his predatorial training. This is wherehe learned how to paint with colored feldspar.This is where he was ripped off by the Allman Brothers Band.And this is where he met a strange creature by the name of PeeGarden;another human abandonded.

PeeGarden,however ,was raised by TreeMonsters.


Hewent on to become the incredbily insane whacko..Paul Schaeffer..who hasbeen making a literal fool of himself on David Letterman for years now.


But let me go back to the part where Motimer learned to write andplay fine music as taught to him by famed forest creature and bluesman....SmokeyBear.

Mortimer pened and played all the instruments as well as color feldspared a series of beautiful outdoor drawrings done in synchopation to the wonderful instrumental he called ..Thebbetica.

The filthy swine ABB very bad men stole it all from him and retitledthe fine work Jessica.


If I may...I would like to share this with you as a requiem mass sort of thing.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVVJ7CA1JJE







I am honored to have known him.







Don't forget to buy my fine new book....HO CHI MIN: A Sampler of Fast Working Chicago HO's




Alan Speegish

[Indian Charlie]

Originally Posted by Mortimer

Don't forget to buy my fine new book....HO CHI MIN: A Sampler of Fast Working Chicago HO's


Alan Speegish

Hello Alan!

That's one of my favorite books! Did you write the book by using first hand knowledge, or did you gather your information by interviewing the locals?

I think they should make this book mandatory reading for all teachers.

[Antitrust32]

my gosh


jessica is a true art form


alan speegish

you are a doll.


i meant my I doll.

[Antitrust32]

what mortimer did for me...




































everything

Originally Posted by Antitrust32

what mortimer did for me...




































everything

[Cajungator26]

Originally Posted by Antitrust32

everything

Did he buy you a new laptop?

[Mortimer]

Hello.


This is Alan Speegish and I would like to speak.Mortimer left me specific instructions.He would rather you not lavish him so because as you all know he was a very modest person.

I would like to add something here.I really appreciate how Mr. Garden entertains everyone with that lost art...

















...LIVE UNICYCLE JUGGLING!!










It's nice seeing a grown ham sandwich in a polka dot suit with big shoes and a faulty umbrella peddle a unicyle with patches on the tire while juggling bowling buddies.

I mean bowling pins.

It's really quite refreshing.I am also glad Mr. Semiconductor enjoys Chicago HO's.

If any of you would like to send money to Mortimers favorite charity please feel free to do so.Also...I am writing down the names of those posters who have not left posts of appreciation/testimonials with regard to Mortimers croaking. I mean passing.






Alan Speegish.

[Mortimer]

I, Alan Speegish, forgot to add my thanks to those thanking me.I don't deserve it. Those personalized letters of thanks to the posters posting appreciation/testimonals were purely the idea of Mortimer.


But thanks all the same.



Alan Speegish.

[Rileyoriley]

In deep appreciation of Morty, I suggest we all take a moment and:



































































































THUD!

[nomad]

[quote=Mortimer]I, Alan Speegish, forgot to add my thanks to those thanking me.I don't deserve it. Those personalized letters of thanks to the posters posting appreciation/testimonals were purely the idea of Mortimer.


But thanks all the same.



Alan Speegish.[/QUOTE

I see I'm not making much progress heah on figuring out how to negotiate this forum, Alan. Perhaps I'll consult VT or Andy Peyers.
I'm not sure who Dannie is.

[Mortimer]

Alan Speegish here.



I believe I have the last page of Mortimers Last Will and Commentary.I certainly hope so.It says should CapperZeke finally be embarrassed into replying here...he should keep quiet about any cheating Mortimer did.Maybe Mortimer left CZ something.Ya never know.

He left a gallon of muratic acid to myspace so they may pour it over Dispencersspace.At the very least he hopes that train guard rail breaks.Here's a direct advisery Mortimer left for Dispencer:

"Hey..Dispencer.I'd ditch that photo of you with the crop circle hairdo.Frankly I think it's an alien map showing the location of Roswell .I would also ditch the myspace link.At least newbees would only think your insane."


I hope Mr. Dispencer is reading along at home with us .

Also he notes Hossy better check his signature spelling.Or else the secrets of the ZC's will never be delivered to him.

Here's a note about Dannie and her secret infatuation with bananas.Boy...I don't think I can repeat this one.

WHEW!



He mentions no one should pay attention to Zaff....."Canadian".





I believe this finishes my work here. I hope you are all happy with the reading.Please carry on the unending work in helping to destroy TrueForm...I mean Swine.

I will now go back to my regular duties of being a brilliant writer of fine works.

Please look for my latest book......Yep...BentMahPud:His years as a Piss Boy.







Alan Speegish

[Mortimer]

Oh for Heavens sakes.



Speegish forgot a Mortimer comment about the keyboard spazz...PeeSchaeffer.


He predicts Pee will become obsessed with MortimersFriends. He will speak in tongues and make animal noises to try and satiate his desire to be a big strong man.Mortimer thinks Pee will have a fetal flashback...curl into a ball and show a strong desire for mookys delivered through a nipple in his crazed jibberish.

Mortimer thinks the only nipple Pee gets now is from the cow he bought for 3 JuJuBeans last week.


God is he stupid!





And now I'm sure that's everything.









Alan Speegish

Dear Mr. Speegish,

This is Julie Zvoranova, Mr. Pillow Pants' personal trainer. He is suffering from a pulled hammy and is unable to post at this time.

I am posting on his behalf to let you know that he is behooved, nearly moved, by your kind words. He expects to back soon and hungry for fresh prey.

Seriously Sincerely,

Julie xoxo

[Mortimer]

Shut up!

Speegish speaks.




Dear Surrogate PillowPants:

Well you put him back together and get him back in the game.There's an abundance of fresh kill just waiting to happen around here. GenuineCrazyLady is such an obvious target her unit price is already printed on her blouse.



Alan Speegish









Dear DebODeb;



DayQuil? Oh never mind.Speegish is glad to know you are better.Soon you will be ready for a ( as Mr. Foxworthy would say) a "rule en ze hay."

Oh ..and share food....good idea.




Alan Speegish












Dear Mr.Hossy;


Good to know you enjoyed some of Mortimers predictions.I understand a made guy got clipped at FOD. Too bad. Seems there may now be two openings.Someone ought to get it in gear over there.






Alan Speegish

[Mortimer]

Speegish is very angry.What simple minded frog vaporized Speegish's reply to socks fan?

Speegish will not tolerate such insolent doings.Never do this again.





Alan Speegish

[Mortimer]

Speegish asks....




..WHO HAS DONE THIS THING?



Who here has snapped at DebODEb?

It was PeeScaheffer...keyboard spazz.

Speegish sees predators already ripping his flesh.This is only the beginning for your Mr. Wizzard. You will be ripped and slashed and cut and ripped some more until you are finished you filthy swine.

Speegish sees no acceptance of his invitation to Canadian Gaf and Dimmy.


Speegish smell cowards and vermin.








Alan Speegish

[Mortimer]

Speegish thinks Hossy has gone for the throat.. His prey has suffered enough.




The smell of fresh kill permeates the surrounding air. Soon jackals Dimmy and Canadian Guf will sneak in...because....as you all know.......Hossy does not chew his prey....he merely kills it and moves on.








Alan Speegish

[Sightseek]

Dear Mr. Alan Speegish:

Behooved kind sir.

I remain

Very Truly Yours,

Sight-poo