The Cleveland Sporty Page

[Arletta]

From Clyde

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Well one out of two may be a high water mark.

Not sa bad.

Using that as a springboard;it's on to rivalry week.....perhaps the greatest week
in college football.




And what a colossal mess it is.




Given the proliferation of violent game fixing this year and add in these huge
rivalries plus a pinch of final four berths at stake----you can see what I'm
saying.Corrida State continues to win games as though it is a tough
decision.Alybamer thought about making it interesting at the onset against the
most directionless school unknown.UHM,IS THIS THE Ohio State was trailing at
home late 3rd quarter against the Whatsiers!!!!


What the fucl< is happening here?


SportyFans,Fixer Sniffer has a lot of work to do.It is not easy uncovering items
of note in locker rooms. I was not aware JT Barrett's tool box was filled with
50's.They were buried under a few large crescent wrenches.Just like the Land O'
Lakes large butter containers; well camouflaged as foundation cream in Jalen
Marshall's locker prior to the Minny-SOH-tah game.

We will find who is on the take;we will know where the fix is in;and we will fer
DEM SHOO know whose campus baffert is frequenting.


Our fine work will be presented on Tuesday at the absolute latest.

But it could go to Wednesday.

Sometimes the baffert voice pattern analysis takes longer.

[Arletta]

Yet another from ~ Clyde


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Welcome to another edition of Clyde and Clyde.

Well that was fun.

Let's get right to it,Sporty Fans.Yew git on yer fb message boards and bludgeon your opponents for this week.




TCPew is at the Texas Shorthorns( book 'em!).

Before I start my award winning game analysis,let me aks all of you a question. Would you be intimidated playing a team called the Horned Frogs??That is the dumbest name I have ever heard.One can't even make fun of it;that's how dumb it is.This is the primary reason I say not only take the Shorthorns and the 6.5....but take them to win the game.Texas has been admirable in their last 3 while TCPew is off a bye that let the Kansas game sink deeper into their noodles.Think of it this way:In their only loss,TCPew scored 58 points.



The Woebegone Platypusi are at the Woebegone State Nookies.

This game already blows. The Nookies are getting 20,but it is a rivalry game and they are at home. The one other thing they have going for them is---- they lose a lot.That's not saying much,is it? All things being the same....I would take the Nookies and the 20.My main factor being; I hate the Platypusi.And really, if you take both teams real nicknames (PLEASE!)....it's the Ducks vs. the Beavers.BLECH!! Really, who cares about this game? The Platypusi will lose the FRAC 10 title game anyways.



The SissiMippi State Horned Dogs are at the Another Miss Pebbles.


I'm already tired of using that insipid rivalry game term...."anything can happen."Well if MSU doesn't win by more than that 2,then baffert somehow got by us.Looks like another swing and a miss for Another Miss to me.




The Floridoo-dah Cajunatahs are at the Corrida Seminals.


I really don't know what to say about any game involving the Seminals.Obvioulsy,winning is not paramount in their minds during any game.It's only near the end that they seem to recall the winning thing.Really thought they shot their wad several games back, but here they come again.Undefeated.But I still hate them.In a tactical play,this time I'm going to say-----take the Seminals and give the 7.5.

=;>




The Baylor Tree Sloth are at the Texas Tech Dead Raiders.


Oh boy.

I'd love to say :Take TT and the 24.5,but they give up over 40 points a game.

So I can't.




The AwDern Horned Tigers are at the Alybamer LOL TIDE!!


This rivalry is called The Aluminum Bowl because of the legion of California Aluminum horsey fans in Alybamer.

Just thayin'.

The LOL TIDE!! has the nations number 2 stingiest defense. That's pretty good.


This game ,they state of the two teams.....it kinda/sorta reminds me of the THE Game.I think Dick is going to have pounded the players minds a bit too far.The biggest thing....under threat of another law suit,all I can tell you is; their has been a spate of broken toll gates in and around Tuscaloosa,Alybamer this week and a piece of a California license plate was found at one of those scenes.


Take AwDern and the 9.5.

I do think they win as they intercept the kickers pass on a botched fake field goal attempt with no time left.





I HOPE TO GOD THIS IS THE Ohio State allows into their home:The vermin known as That Team Up North Vulvarenes.

Now, this truly is THE Game.It is THE Game over all The Games, although I don't think any other rivalry is known as The Game.One of the few and maybe the only rivalry game that has not sold out to that green egg pumping ,massive glob of greed:Queen Corporate America.The only The Game that Congress made official as the most life threatening rivalry game in sports.Where a vote of fans on espn declared THE Game the no.1 rivalry of any team or individual rivalry among any sport that ever existed.


That includes Shared Belief vs. baffert.

Anyhoo.....it's pretty big, no matter what's at stake because the most at stake is THIS Game.Fans of the losing team will spend most of the next year at their local Vomitorium.


Let us now discuss who shall win.


The Bucknuts have steadied their ugly defending of the Forward Pass.Unfortunately, they forgot teams still employ that play of deception----the Forward Run.Gardner can't pass sa hot,but Michigan's run game has improved and they do have a pretty good defense.The Bucknuts offense can do both the run and pass well, although of late they have shown a proclivity for being too nice to the opposing team by wrapping the ball in a pretty package.....and giving it to them as a peace offering.That mustn't happen here.Actually, everything goes out the window.Nothing matters.The two teams hate each other with a purple passion.Plus,The Vulvarenes.....winning this sends them to a bowl and makes their season.They may also have it in mind to win one for the Hoker.The Bucknuts have all to lose in this game;as well as all to win.


The funny thing about this game is-----the players know the extreme importance here and how they must be fully into this game.How they must come out onto the field of battle snorting fire and brimstone,acting as if they have lost their minds and with no other goal than the complete and total annihilation of their foe.


But don't fight.Fight and you're off the team.

Well don't look at me.

It's football....it don't make no sense.



ANYWAYS!!!!....Take the Vulvarenes and the 20----and one half.I do think Ohio wins,though.






Never forget: If it don't work....FIX IT!!

[Arletta]

From Clyde



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Enough idle chit chat going on around here.The NFL Arizona is yet to be fine and who needs Fan Duels between kumquats? And Daffy Danny....is there a way? You don't know of what you type in anything, most of all here and in the Padlock.

Let the REAL Don Steele fine programming begin with ....THE Clyde&Clyde Show!!!!


YAY!!



Critique of last week:

My wuffie left me.....so did THE Arletta....and so-----ah et mah own fine fb picks.

So solly.




Here we be in the final week of Tournamentless Final Four guesswork.And after todays new rankings, boy are certain fan bases fit to be tied.They are rip roarin' and snarlin' mad at dem beans!!Whatever you do SportyFns....stay off team message boards this week.They are not safe.


I think that SEC speed is catching up with them.Alybamer wins 55-44 at home.All hope of defense being important now goes out the ol' winder.The ACC whacks them 4 times this past weekend.

The Seminals continue to show only mild interest in winning and the Bucknuts are in HUGE trouble.



Let's have a look at the games this coming Saturday as teams compete for the Big Taco.


But first,let me say baffert has planted 3 false bafferts and that has really thrown off the efforts of FIXER SNIFFER!! We don't have time to make the necessary adjustments, so let the fix fall where it may.



The LOL TIDE!! is playing the Missery Horned Tigers at Neutral Field.

Big ol' 14.5 to Missery.

Take them.



Francis State is at the Baylor Tree Sloths.I don't see a line on espn.

No conf. title game so no one cares.

It's the Anemic 12.Take either team....please.



The only reason Styowa is at TCPew is to give the bored something to do.

Really, who cares?



Aryzona plays WoeBeGone at busy bee Neutral Field.

Who dat gonna beat dem Platypusi -14.5 !!?

The Horned Wildcats will!!



Corrida Sate plays the Joe-Jah St. Horned Yeller Jackets!!

And the buzz is at busy bee Neutral Field!....again!!

Will the Seminals wake up just a little too late in this one?



YES!

Take the Yeller Jackets and that 4.5.





In the game that holds the most intrigue....The Swissconsin WeDon'tNeedNoStinkingBadgers play OH NO....IT'S THE Ohio State Bucknuts.

I kind of anticipated this match up before last weekend.

Even with Barrett,I saw the Bucknuts losing and of course still see it that way.The defense is just not one to win without lots of offensive help.The BEHEMOTH now is the qb for Ohio State.Too little experience at too important a position.The only things I can see where Ohio can win is an ultimate effort by them in winning this for a certain person,which is in a way so petty ( to me,I mean) as being.....sort of not right? Or, maybe it is.I don't know. The other thing would be a lot of mixing into the offense of Jalan Marshall at qb/wildcat.These things plus supreme corner confidence and 9 players breathing down Swissconsin's offensive line.


And great special teams play.

That's asking for like....too much,huh?

It is.



Take Swissconsin giving 4.






After last week, all this stuff really is so unimportant other than to all the gold hoarders at the networks and conferences.


It don't matter what happens.

May they all lose.






Adios Amigos!!

[Arletta]

A sporty update from ~ Clyde




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There are times when this fine lines buster types true things....well I know it's not very often,but it does happen.


The first is: WEDON'TNEEDNOSTINKINGBADGERS.

So true.


The second:

The Anemic 12's mask of overratedness was finally removed.




The BEHEMOTH did preform admirably for the Bucknuts, making me look like Rock Soft II.

I hate when that happens.



Stand by,SportyFans.I will have my fine picks out for the Tournamentless Final Four ----shortly.Just depends on how busy my busy bee pastier might....be.


Oh.I really like how the Cavaliers have ignored Coach Dahla's worthless opinion.She went to the NBA because there are no NFL American Negro qb's to fawn, other than Seatle's Wilson.I think he's too white for her.Wait'll she gets a load of Johnny Rotten.




GOOGLIES!!

[Arletta]

A Post from Clyde



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As promised,Sporty Fans................I forgot what I promised.

Oh well.




Let's get right to the first round of Tournamentless Final Four.



The Horned Seminals of Corrida State (ole!) play the Platypusi of Wobegone.I think the Platypusi have too much fire power for the get-behind-first-and-ask-questions-later Seminals.It's a bad habit and this time it just ain't gonna work.

Take the Platypusi and -9 and they win the game.



The real deal game:

(Snort!) LOL TIDE!! plays THESE Ohio State University's.


The Bucknuts defense finally played in a relentless way throughout the Swissconsin game.Maybe they can try the method again as it does wok good.One does have to kinda/sorta fear what Dick Saban might come up with for The BEHEMOTH as he has about 3 weeks to plan out a strategy to take advantage of the qb's skinny experience.

I would think Alybamer is a good deal better than Swissconsin.I know the Bucknuts are a good deal better than Missery.Anyhoo----take the Bucknuts getting 9, but I don't know who will win....yet.



The Brownies took Quinn and Wheeden and Rotten all in about the same spot;22nd or so in the first round.We do know how the first two worked.I think Johnny Rotten will also be a game day expert on espn in a couple of years. And the Cavaliers did not go small, but they are much better.Not going to mention Coach Dahla's name here.Not my style.

There's yer sporty news for today.




Oh!....I should post these viewer mail offerings:


From Bob Peely of Brazil----"Why you not talk soccer!!?"

Bob, get lost already.


From LeBron James----"Why you not talk soccer!!?"

BOB!! Knock it of!


From Stevie 5 Picks----"You the the best,dewd!!"

STEVIE!! Thank you guy!






AMERICANO'S! AVANTI!!