ClydeVivor Belmont Stakes Day Contest

[Rileyoriley]

Pick one horse for each race on the card. No rules, no restrictions, cheating encouraged, and perhaps a special appearance by Clyde and The Belmonts.

[Rileyoriley]

Now that the Belmont entries and posts have been drawn, our favorite handicapper will present his very fine Belmont selections in his own unique style.







(and for the record Mr. Clyde, I said I reserve the right to EDIT. If I dart you, you'll know it buster!)

[Rileyoriley]

Good NoParticularTimeoftheDay to all of the horsey aficionados out there in racing land. I feel so very privileged in a serendipitous way to be here, even if only in copy n' paste form.There are a few here who appreciate brilliance in their superstars and to you I am deeply imbedded.

I mean indebted.

It is abundantly clear to me that I am persona non gratta ( however that is or is not spelled) at this abysmal pen of predictable posts.Fine with me.Way it goes. I understand petty jealousy as the place is built upon that very foundation.( You better not edit my fine work here, Longerie....godamitty.)



Let's get to my primary function for being here today,SportyFans (TM*).

I had Our Miss Porn Brat deliver the cards, but it was such an erotic thrust into places even 8 Millimeter dare not have gone that I am very confident The Debonatah darted it.

Also, I am sorry ,but I do not any longer have free access to a paint set nor bolded,italicized nor super size it controls.






Well ****....now I forgot what I was talking about.






eauxh!!







LADIES(?) AND GENTLEMEN(??)...I give you my fine pre race analysis of the I forgot-nth running of THE BELMONTS.

Ned and Hydra, we all thank you for inventing this dramatic affair.I love you both,as you know, and you are to be congratulated for being such wonderful people.






1. Street Light


It will never go on in this one's noodle.

Certainly not for this race.Look for him to go right to dvd rental after this colossal failure.



crinkle....


trash can






2. Unstoppable


Oh really?

Let's see...what does that name mean? He can't be stopped----right? Stopped from doing ....what,exactly?

Kind of enigmatic.

I do not promote enigmaticy.


(drum roll)

drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr



( symbol smash)

symbol smash!!!!





criiiiink-EL!!


trash can






3. Reunion Tags


"Hi. My name is Union Rags....and I am a Mormon."

Give me a stinking break already.





whiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrr!!!!







4. Atigun


What the **** does that mean?

OH!, it's the horsey's NAME fer **** sakes.

double blech





crinkle....


trash can




5. Lonihan....Monihan....what eveah


Oh boy is that pop corn clocker Welsh all over this one.

Ever notice at how he's always shilling the big names in any given race? They all look oh so pretty and are just training in such a delightful manner how can you not love this horsey to run a big one?


Mikey, get off the dole already.



crinkle-ihan....



trash canihan





6.OOOOOOH when I was an itty bitty(TM) baby my mama would rock me in the cradle, in them ooooold cotton fields back home....

She'd work me all day and into the night,didn't care if I put up a fight...in them oooold cotton fields back home...

Oh them cotton fields, them rotten fields....man they made me sick,my one boss man must have been beat with an idiot stick...

OOOOH whenIwasanittybitty(TM)babymymamawouldrockmeinthec radle....IN THEM OOOOLD COT-TON FIELDS BACK....HOOOOOOOOOME.






Oh for the love of God.


I did it again Horsey Fans.

I don't know what's wrong with my mind anymore.I just can't get it to work in the manner I wish.Do so well and then out of nowheres----I go off on a tangent no one including me could see coming.I know it's frustrating and unprofessional and I am embarrassed.I think the problem started when....





God help me.


I'm going off on another tangent in the middle of apologizing for gong off on another tangent!

Anyways, whoever this hprsey was....he can't win.

**** him.



crinkle....


trash can






7. Five Sixteen

10-4



crinkle-trashcan






8. Guyana Star Dweej

Easy for you to say.

Tribal horsey's trained on Africa's Serengeti just don't work out.Offense to all my fine American Negro friends, not at all.

But no.




crinkle....


trash can






9. Plasterer


Baffert should hang his misanthrope head in abject shame.

Your through in this town Baffert.



crinkle....


trash can





10. Optimizah


Here is that loveable long shot horsey only Debbie's..WHOA!!..I mean MY eyes can spot.



Keep him.





11. I'll Have Another....Make It A Double....Oh My God, It's a Mile and a Half Long!?....Give Me The Whole Bottle


I like his name.



Keep him.





12. My Hippopotamus


Oink.



NYYYOOOOOW





THUD











Play the huge exactanatah to the tune of Ten Eleven....NOT Five Sixteen.

That would be stupid.




(Footnote to Myself:

*.... I had to trademark my own fine work as some here use it and other TM's rather liberally and do not TM them.For those guilty of some such, may your house be haunted to a level never before seen on this planet.)

[geeker2]

We need a bigger dart

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by geeker2

We need a bigger dart

I expect to see your Belmont picks here Saturday Mister Dart!

[herkhorse]

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

And you and your purple zebra's too!

[Sightseek]

Congrats to Ned and Hydra!!



Such wonderful people.

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley sitting in for CP

Tribal horsey's trained on Africa's Serengeti just don't work out.

Aww don't make fun caue of his silly name. I have a weird name. It sucks.

Once upon a time, way far away in a land called Guyana, lived a horsie named Guyana Star.

Now this horsie won like a zillion ****ing races.

Anyhoo flash forward to present day and the trainer named this one for the original GS and the dweej means something like to have been born again.

The end.

And the moral of the story is that I'll Have Another will win.

I am just now looking at the fields and will be posting my really terrible picks at some point but don't think I'll be having much time to actually attempt to cap the races (the rest of them. I refuse to play the Belmont and jinx him).

[Rileyoriley]

Because he always wants to be first to post his picks, Clyde will now present us with his Belmont day selections.

[Rileyoriley]

David's extraordinary selections for the Belmonts card on the 9th:


1....4,Ah Dreamed Ah Were

2....4,Ah LLLLLove To Run

3....4,Live 4 Today

4....4,DeFine'

5....5, Debbie's Twin Spires----WHOA!! ----I mean InMyEyes

6....4,Skyring

7....8,JustoniusPhillipius

8....7,UpInTime

9....10,Arletta'sRocket

10...7,HudsonSteele

11...GiveMeTheWholeBottle

12...JoburgStar

13. 6,Post Pattern


Well Ill be darned.



HotLegs....I should say The Debonatah has advised me I'll Have Another has had one too many and many degenerate gamblers really don't care....and Stevie will make one less choice.

Isn't "our sport" a gas?

There is no way I will shame myself and now choose either Confederate Flags ( stinking Johnny Reb) nor Lonihan ( God's gift to Keeneland).


I'm going with the horsey whose trainer is wearing an Indianapolis Colt helmet;OPTIMIZAH!!


YA!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZydCQlnhFY

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

I am just now looking at the fields and will be posting my really terrible picks at some point but don't think I'll be having much time to actually attempt to cap the races (the rest of them. I refuse to play the Belmont and jinx him).

Ditto!

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by OldDog

Ditto!

Too late guys. I'll Have Another scratched.