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#1
05-31-2007, 09:51 AM
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My best and most loyal friend is dying ......
It's probably not the place for this and you would think I should be a hell of alot better with this given I deal with human suffering and death every day of my profesional life but the one completely selfless loving being I have ever known is leaving our family and I am beyond devastated. My 12 year old golden "Shadow" (sassy chance and shadow with those with an awareness of that family).....was diagnosed with metastatic lymphoma yesterday. He isn't suffering at the moment but is disinterested in eating and his usual activity...... All this animal ever did was.... 1) raise my children ........he had the unique innate ability to lie with young boys at night when they didn't want to be alone until they fell asleep, knowning somehow by the change in their breathing that slumber had befallen them and he could now safely leave their sides each night. The security he gave my sons is not definable. 2) greet me each and every time I came through a door morning, noon or night as if I had come home from a war with the passion and happiness of lovers too long apart. 3) lived to make our family happy each and every day, never cross, complaining or difficult. How many people do you know in your life that haven't got one annoying habit or flaw. He isn't apparently in pain and has periods of alertness with a wagging tail, alert eyes, affection craving. Is it cruel to hold on to further time together if you think it is quality time from both perspectives. My friend has done more for me several times over than I have ever done for him, a selfless example of devotion who made every person he lived with a better creature by knowning him. An example of altuism when the word is used all too easily. Euthanized is a word I have a great deal of a problem with if the animal isn't apparently suffering. I love my dog so shoot me......the loss is a hole in my head and heart I'll not soon mend. 
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#2
05-31-2007, 09:56 AM
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This ride is not forever for anyone or any being. Be grateful for the time and memories you've gained as many will read your post with envy for the deep relationship you've been so lucky to have.
If God is indeed love and that is what you have gained, give thanks and joy for the gift. Spyder
__________________
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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#3
05-31-2007, 09:57 AM
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Take things one day at a time. I was where you were about five years ago with my first baby girl. She was diagnosed in October and we lost her just before x-mas. She told me when it was time.
Try cooking him some plain rice and chicken breast. Worked for my baby. She ate everything. If she had a hard time chewing, I put everything in a blender for her. Your best friend will tell you when it is time. Mine told me. I gave her a bath the last night we had her. She LOVED baths. I know it is hard so just take things one day at a time. It will get easier. It took me two years before I would even consider getting another baby. I am sorry that you are going through this.
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawaken. 
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#4
05-31-2007, 10:04 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about that, D.
Just take it as it comes and let every day going forward be yet another one of the gifts that every day in the past has been with your bud. Enjoy him, pamper him, let there be no doubt in his mind that you'd do anything for him and give anything to him. He'll let you know when the physical symptoms are too much for him to handle, they have an uncanny way of letting you know when it's time to say goodbye.
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#5
05-31-2007, 10:10 AM
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Quote:
 My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
__________________
http://www.facebook.com/cajungator26
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#6
05-31-2007, 10:11 AM
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I had to put my dog (Sooner)to sleep after having him for 14 years.His hips slowly gave way (as most Sheperd/Huskie mix do).It was my experience that when the day came to take him to Angell Memorial in Boston,I 'knew' that was the day.Please keep us posted on any updates.
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#7
05-31-2007, 10:18 AM
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The price we pay for loving and being loved by another is the pain of loss.
By focusing on the love, and not the loss, you'll know the right time and do the right thing. The loss is never easy. The love remains with you always.
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#8
05-31-2007, 10:18 AM
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I can feel your sorrow....I had a Golden named Mika that I had from the time she was a puppy until I had to put her down at the beginning of her 14th year. It was real hard...Remember the life not the loss of it
Dave
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#9
05-31-2007, 10:21 AM
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Quote:
This reminds me of Richi's post... (for those that didn't get a chance to read it.) http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/sho...ghlight=Nugget
__________________
http://www.facebook.com/cajungator26
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#10
05-31-2007, 10:29 AM
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What a terrible time it is for your family. When I was a child my family had "Mikey" a golden/collie cross. He was a protector, a friend, a family member. When I was little, I called him "Mugadoo."
He was so important to me that on my first day of kindergarten my mom got a call from my teacher asking why I kept calling out "where's mugadoo??!" I guess I assumed that I'd be able to take him to school with me. He'd gone everywher else. My firend with 3 little kids has a golden named Copper who is a mugadoo-clone. I'm sure that you will do right by Shadow as he has done right by you for all these years. Having been there, my heart breaks for you and your family.
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#11
05-31-2007, 10:36 AM
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Quote:
I am certain of just one. The time we have with those we love is a blessing. The moments we have during a loved one's illness and late days are to be cherished most of all. Prayers are with you.
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#12
05-31-2007, 10:37 AM
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Doc, I'm so very, very sorry. Our animal friends grow older before our eyes, outpacing us, and no, it's not fair. We are cognizant of their disease and what the future holds, and they are not. Remember that, as he will still comfort you, for that is his joy and he will be happy in that, while being the source of your anguish.
It is not cruel or selfish to gain one day at a time, or to want more time. I've never seen an owner that loved their pet error in this judgement, never. You and your family will worry over this, but you alone will know when it is time to say goodbye, or when it is still too soon; and you will be sure of that decision in your hearts, and have no doubts when it is finally time. You will be strong for him, because you love him, and because of that, it is impossible for you to error. Do not rush it, although you fear it. Think of it not as guilt or anger for being forced to play God, but remember what it really is, the last loving act of kindness you do for a beloved friend, and remember that Shadow's last feelings will be the happiness and pleasure of his family holding him and loving him. Consider pallative chemo if remission isn't an option. Lymphoma, even advanced stage, responds very well to chemo as far as improving quality of life; and dogs do not suffer the side effects humans do. In my experience it can gain them valuable quality of life.
__________________
"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#13
05-31-2007, 10:40 AM
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brian's right doc, he'll let you know. hug him and kiss him and love him while you still have him.
we just went through this first week in april with our cat, Callie. her mind was still good but her kidneys were failing and her legs were failing. the house is still empty.
__________________
"Always keep your heads up and act like champions." Coach Paul Bryant
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#14
05-31-2007, 10:48 AM
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doc hope u get through this ok, I remember a few months ago when my doggie was sick I thought it was it, but the ol girl is still alive and kickin. I know im fortunate everyday my doggie is alive
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#15
05-31-2007, 10:54 AM
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Like everyone else has said, he will let you know. And no, it isn't cruel to hold on if life is comfortable from his perspective.
I truly feel your pain, as I just went through this 2 weeks ago with one of my dogs. He ruptured a disk, it compressed his spinal cord, and he was paralyzed when I found him. He and I both knew it was the end. It was the hardest thing to do, but at the same time the easiest. My thoughts and sympathies are with you in this difficult time.
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#16
05-31-2007, 11:05 AM
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It sounds to me that Shadow has been a loyal solider for you over the years. I'd think of it this way, he's been there for you and yours all these years and he needs you guys now more than ever.
That's the best you can do for him for all his years of getting you through day by day, and I trust he will tell you when he has had enough. Savior the days and cherish the memories which will last forever.
__________________
"Boston fans hate the Yankees, we hate the Canadiens and we hate the Lakers. It's in our DNA. It just is." - Bill Simmons
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#17
05-31-2007, 11:14 AM
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We lost our German Shepherd tragically young (age 6) to cancer in February 2005. It's a tough road to go.
Best wishes that you can focus on the gift of knowing this dog and the great memories you have that can help mitigate the grief.
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#18
05-31-2007, 11:19 AM
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Quote:
My family had to make the same decision you will inevitably have to make about 5 Thanksgiving's ago. That Wednesday before we had to put 'Dixie' down for the exact same reason as yours. I was away at college at the time and just got home, my mom didn't tell me about it because she knew I would take it hard. I got home, was able to say good-bye and it just needed to be done. We tried to keep her around as long as possible. What is nice is that my mom made a plate of cement and put her paws in it, and has this little thing in the backyard as it is still her 'yard' per say.
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#19
05-31-2007, 11:30 AM
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I am so sorry for you and your family. The pain does ease but is truly never completely erased. I have tears in my eyes now thinking about putting my sweet Dalmation to sleep 6 years ago, she was 14 years old and told me that it was time. It was the last loving thing I could do for her while she was on this earth. I share my life now with a lovely Bluetick Coonhound who is the beneficiary of the excellent training I recieved from my Dalmation.
As many others have said Shadow will let you know when it is time. If he is not in pain and able to have a reasonable quality of life it is not selfish to continue living and loving each other. Every day is a gift. Please keep us posted. I will keep you in my thoughts
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#20
05-31-2007, 11:37 AM
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Hang in there Doc. Cherish the last time you have left with Shadow.
I lost my Dalmation, Abby (named after a Greyhound that I cashed several tickets on in Miami, Anna's Abby) 2 years ago and this is the first I have spoken of it. It absolutely crushed me and still does just writing this. She was 13 and her first 8 years were when I was single and it was just me and Abby. We had many long talks about life and she was the best listener. The last 5 years were with my wife and kids and she took the change well and became one of the family. She was a wreck in the end. Bad heart murmer, going blind, bad hip etc...when the incessant nose bleeds began, we knew it was time. My wife and kids want another dog, but I have put them off because I don't know if I can go through that again.
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