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#121
08-12-2008, 11:28 PM
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8/12/08 Recap, Racing Coast to Coast, Deleware Park
Results 8/12/08 Racing Coast to Coast, Deleware Park
Jungle Cat's agent, Goofy, has reported that Jungle Cat has opted out of his racing contract in favor of a lucrative movie deal with Disney to play the part of Cheetah the Monkey in the upcoming Tarzan movie series. Looking foward to seeing you there Jungle Cat! Jockey JA Bracho was last seen standing on a street corner in Dover, Deleware holding a "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" sign in one hand and a barefoot baby in the other. Todays wager: $26, return $0. Coast to Coast WPS record: 10 starts, 1-1-4. $2 mythical Win on each= $20 bet, $5.20 return Total called wagers to date: $314 bet, return $78. Dr. SwineSmeller 
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#122
08-12-2008, 11:33 PM
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Answers
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#123
08-13-2008, 01:54 AM
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8/13/08 Racing Coast to Coast.
8/13/08 Racing Coast to Coast with Dr. SwineSmeller
Arlington Park, Race 8, post 4:45 Central Time News Bulletin: At the Kennedy Space Center, scientists believe they have perfected a secret missle project codenamed Nasa Slew. NASA is reporting that daredevil rocketeer Jessie Campbell has bravely volunteered to duct tape himself to the newly refined missle, and he will attempt to be launched into outer space from a pad in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Should the #5 Nasa Slew missle indeed obtain orbit, it will be a first, as in four earlier test fires, only once has the missle actually fired. The other three times it just blew up on the pad. Odds makers are giving 8/1 that the Nasa Slew missle just blows up again. A prayer service for Jesse has been scheduled to coincide with today's launch. I have $40 that says the Nasa Slew project Wins today. Go Baby Go!!
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#124
08-13-2008, 02:15 AM
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Casino Drive instructions: Light fuse, get away quickly!
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Last edited by Dr.SwineSmeller : 08-13-2008 at 02:49 AM.
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#125
08-13-2008, 02:30 AM
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Kicking a horse when he's down......
Originally Posted by Dr.SwineSmeller
If you were a tired horse from way up in the Poconos trying to get back home after you'd just rode 4000 miles in hot trailer with a nose hole from Pennsylvania to California only to have dirt clods for dinner, you'd be a little disoriented too when you first hit the road trying to figure out which way was east. Don't blame the horse for being lost. Dr. SwineSmeller [quote] Geeker> Uh...OK..but there still isn't an I-40 east/west/north or south out of LA... __________________ If anyone in California with half a heart should see In The Poconos wandering down the highway, please stop and give him directions to I-40 east out of LA. It is evident that the poor horse is lost, and all he wants is to hit I-40 and get back home to Pennsylvania. Last edited by Dr.SwineSmeller : 08-13-2008 at 02:53 AM.
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#126
08-13-2008, 07:40 AM
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 Last edited by Rudeboyelvis : 08-13-2008 at 08:22 AM.
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#129
08-13-2008, 09:28 AM
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#131
08-13-2008, 06:33 PM
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#132
08-14-2008, 01:28 AM
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8/13/08 Results Racing Coast to Coast
8/13/08 Results Racing Caost to Coast, Arlington Park
Scientists at Cape Canaveral have reported the Nasa Slew missle test was thwarted when the parachute prematurely opened at top speed just as the rocket was about to reach orbit. The rocket was recovered in Lake Michigan. However, Nasa reports, "Brave rocketeer Jesse Campbell had only half a** duct taped himself to the powerful rocket and when the parachute prematurely opened the duct tape snapped and Jesse was shot like a rubber band into eternal orbit around Uranus". Nasa Slew SHOWS at $7.60. Todays wager: $40 bet, return $0. Coast to Coast WPS record: 11 starts, 1-1-5. Total called wagers to date: $354 bet, $78 return. Dr. SwineSmeller Last edited by Dr.SwineSmeller : 08-14-2008 at 02:42 AM.
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#135
08-14-2008, 05:43 AM
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8/13/08 Racing Coast to Coast, Del Mar
8/14/08 Racing Coast to Coast with Dr. SwineSmeller
Del Mar, Races 2,3 and 5. Second race post 2:32 Pacific time. As I scanned the Del Mar card for any possible sharp angle today, the angle that surfaced was that of a triangle of goat riders. Three of Del Mars very best goat riders, Mike Smith-Alex Solis-and Garrett Gomez, each get only one shot to milk the Del Mar goat today, each in a different race, and each will yank their nanny's udders from the far outside post position. Two of the goat riders are given an 8/1 chance of filling their goatmilk bucket first, while the other is a 2/1 favourite for his goatmilk bucket to runneth over. The theory in the betting strategy is that percentages are triplicated within the triangle...As, (1) I can get an even return at worse should one of the goat herders win their only race of the day, or, (2) should the outside post can win one of three races, or. (3) should I get plain old lucky and hit a pick. ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************** In race 2, Veteran goat herder Mike Smith will go in the stall with veteran nanny, Film Editor. But,at six years of age, Mike's veteran goat is fresh as she has only been in 14 goat milking contests, going 3-3-4 for $147,000 gallons of goatmilk. Bred in California, #6 Film Editor has the home stall advantage over the always powerful backwoods Kentucky goat milking teams. Goat trainer Art Sherman doesn't have many goats to train, but most all of his goats can eat a whole pile of tin cans on any given day. I'll play the milkdud, Film Editor, for $44 WIN. Go Baby Go!! ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************** In race 3, a herd of California bred goats will munch on the Del Mar grass. When goat lover Jerry Fanning was asked if his horny goat was a good one or baahahad one, the hillbilly said She's A Real Keeper. Goat rider Alex Solis agrees and he will give #7 She's A real Keeper his best shot of creme. Alex has requested a pair of safety goggles and a hard hat before he yanks this nanny's udders, and Fanning obliged. I'll play the cream dream, She's A real Keeper, for $44 WIN. Whoa Baby Whoa!! ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************** In race 5, mister goat rider himself, Jerky Gomez, gets to mount a fine looking and honest Kentucky bred goat named Truthy. Word is, Gomez is extremely excited. Gomez will team with top Del Mar goat trainer, John Sadler. When a goat milking contest fan can get an 8/1 butter shot teaming the USA's top goat rider with Del Mar's top goat trainer, that's 100% real butter that can be quickly transformed into gourmet goat cheese. I'll play the all buttered up, Truthy, for $44 WIN. Go Baby Go!! Dr. SwineSmeller
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#136
08-14-2008, 08:49 AM
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Hey..I've been to that market!
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"but there's just no point in trying to predict when the narcissits finally figure out they aren't living in the most important time ever." hi im god quote
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#137
08-14-2008, 08:57 AM
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#139
08-14-2008, 09:24 AM
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Film Editor 8-1 m/l: * Off Since June with an abysmal work tab ( all Handily, and failed to show anything - EDIT: All workouts are listed as "H" - may be a Formulator issue?) *Only 2 starts this year prior to the last effort which was a well beaten last (soundness problem maybe??  ).*Draws far outside post and shows zero speed * Tyler Baze rode her last, and jumps to the 2 Nice pick  She's a Real Keeper 2-1 m/l * Worst chalk play on the card *Horse needs to run uncovered and Solis took her wide both turns last which cost the win; now has to deal with the shute turn as well with little speed and far outside post * 5 Wild fleece is way more tactical and draws a much better post. If you're eating chalk, atleast you get 5-2 on her Truthy 8-1 m/l * Sadler 7% 1st start * Draws far outside going 5 1/2f * Dull work pattern I'm sure the good doctor's response would be somewhere along the lines of,"HAY GUYZ SOMEONE PAID 220K FOR HIM....WINNAR!!!!!!!" - When actually they paid 220K and are offering him for 100K first start - not too much of a Red Flag   Last edited by Rudeboyelvis : 08-14-2008 at 09:49 AM.
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#140
08-14-2008, 02:06 PM
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Sweet Home Alabama
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Linear Mode
