Well Now - Page 26

Mortimer · #**501** 03-22-2007, 12:11 PM

Ah guess some things are just meant to be.

Mortimer · #**502** 03-22-2007, 12:30 PM

Oh...by the way....

...ah don't like any a ya.

Except Miss Thebby.

So go ahead........request a dart nail me right between the eyes.

Just remember this....."friends"....

...ah didn't get the name Dirty Morty fer nothin'.

paisjpq · #**503** 03-22-2007, 12:48 PM

no darts, morty...we are all friends here...well, sort-of.

Mortimer · #**504** 03-22-2007, 12:50 PM

Why thank ya ma'am.

Mighty neighborly of ya.

Mortimer · #**505** 03-22-2007, 01:27 PM

MA'AM!

There seem to be some posts of mine that are......not there anymore.

I want the name of the swine who destroyed my fine work.

Mortimer · #**506** 03-22-2007, 01:33 PM

I want the name ...ma'am.

This is no bluff.

I have a little plan in store for you if I don't get it in 30 minutes.

I want that name.

Mortimer · #**507** 03-22-2007, 01:56 PM

Swill!

Will you kindly stop sending this thread out of first place?

There is an extremely important matter here needing resolution......if you don't mind.

Mortimer · #**508** 03-22-2007, 02:14 PM

Well Thebby.

I see you have chosen to remain mute....and that is very disappointing.

You have failed me.

You must be punished.

Wouldn't you like to know how?

I will tell you.

I now have here in my fine home the bodies of your great buddies......ANDY and Stevie-poo.

Oh don't worry...they're still alive. I have firmly bound and gagged them in two chairs.I am not a cruel man.

But there's more.

I also have gained access to all of their cash accounts...as well as their betting accounts.

Oddly enough....I have gained access to the betting accounts of PJ Man,Can'tdallSnot and Tex.

Now let me string this together for you.

If I don't get that name then tomorrow these two go in front of my sat.tv...I will tune in the races at Big A and GULFSTREAM...I will prop their eyelids open with toothpicks and they will watch as I bet all of their money on the picks of PJ Man,Can'tdallSnot and Tex.

MMMMMPH!!!.........GARBLE-STIFLE.....MNNNNNNNOOOOOAAAAA!!!!

Do you hear them shrieking Thebby?

Until tomorrows races begin... I will be sticking pins in their bodies and making them watch John Wayne movies.

So the choice is yours.You may end their suffering by vomitting up the name of that swine who darted my most excellent work......or you can make these two suffer.

It's really all in your hands Thebby.

Don't be a fool.

Bystander · #**509** 03-22-2007, 02:19 PM

Oh my GOD.
This is what happens when you get a little attention?
You'll make them watch while you bet GF?
(Where the heck is GF?)
You're a mean one.

Mortimer · #**510** 03-22-2007, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bystander

Oh my GOD.
This is what happens when you get a little attention?
You'll make them watch while you bet GF?
(Where the heck is GF?)
You're a mean one.

I meant GulfStream...so I messed it up....big deal.

And I SAID the bets will be that of the 3 Doritos....not mine.

WHODOYOUWORKFOR!!?

Mortimer · #**511** 03-22-2007, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bystander

Oh my GOD.
This is what happens when you get a little attention?
You'll make them watch while you bet GF?
(Where the heck is GF?)
You're a mean one.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Bystander · #**512** 03-22-2007, 02:27 PM

Yes.
I work for... Andy.

Mortimer · #**513** 03-22-2007, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bystander

Yes.
I work for... Andy.

Good.

Would you like me to give him a message from you?

He's feeling a little uncomfortable right now because I am recitng DRAINOS' old posts to him from the DRF archives.

Bystander · #**514** 03-22-2007, 02:31 PM

Nah, let him suffer.

Mortimer · #**515** 03-22-2007, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bystander

Nah, let him suffer.

!!

Well if you have kept up with your reading from the other place you may like to know Typo doesn't really care for hot foots.

Oh no......he doesn't like the sting of a kitchen match going off under his fat little toes.

Mortimer · #**516** 03-22-2007, 02:42 PM

ANDY and Stevie-poo are screaming your name out Thebby.

I think they request you give up that darters name.

They sound a bit uncomfortable.

Maybe it would help if I poured hot,scalding water over their little heads.

Mortimer · #**517** 03-22-2007, 02:47 PM

Well that certainly didn't help very much.

They seem to be very angry with you Thebby.

Do you think they would enjoy reruns of At The Auction?

I do.

At The Auction and those two stupid fidgiting twins are very good for us.

Yes.

They are our friends.

I'm putting on 8 hours worth of them now so ANDY and Stevie-poo may enjoy them.

Mortimer · #**518** 03-22-2007, 02:52 PM

I have a message from ANDY for you Thebby.

What's that ANDY?......tell the heartless two bit......what?...oh....tramp to give him the name already.

Does that sound right ANDY?

Yes...ANDY said that's what his message should read.

I think Stevie-poo wants more boiling oil for his foot bath.......talk to you later!

Mortimer · #**519** 03-22-2007, 02:55 PM

Oh..

...Stevie also said he's going to kill you if he ever gets out of this.

I dunno.

Payson Dave · #**520** 03-22-2007, 02:58 PM

Oh Det. Morty Callaworthy

perhaps

in your

obviously abundant

spare time

you could help

kentucky rose

search for

sore horses.