Breaking: GOP Candidates Don't Believe in Earthquakes

[Riot]

Breaking News: GOP candidates for president unanimously say they do not believe in earthquakes.

Rick Perry says he has never felt one, so concludes that scientists are fabricating the data.

Michelle Bachmann says only God would have the power to move the earth, but that they cannot be real because they are not mentioned in the Bible.

Rick Santorum said it wasn't an earthquake, more like a frothy mix.

Ron Paul says that earthquakes are not consistent with the intent of the nation's founders, who included nothing about earthquakes in our Constitution.

Newt Gingrich said you couldn't feel it in Hawaii.

Mitt Romney apologized for once believing in earthquakes when he was governor of Massachusetts.

Chris Christie said it's nobody's damn business if he felt it or not.

Sarah Palin said it was the fault of the gotcha liberal media and Obama.

Tim Pawlenty said earthquakes are bad.


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