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#1
11-08-2006, 08:45 PM
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Quote:
I didn't forget this thread. Looks like the chickens found thier way back to the roost. Cluck, cluck. Here comes the sky! So, now the next chapter in the poultry story... One day I went to the local pet shop about a week before Easter. There were plenty of cute ducklings, so my brother and I each bought one. His duckling was named "Dicky". Unfortunately, it died withing a couple of days. Must have had a bad "ticker". I named mine Dubby. This one lived, but after a few hours of watching this one, after I got back from the pet shop, I realized that one of its little webbed feet was completely malformed. It was a seriously lame duck. Though it couldn't move around on land too well, I did my best for it. Dubby even had trouble quacking. When it tried to say "quack-le-ar", it came out as "quack-u-lar". It was very cute at first, but after a few days inside my house, mom made me take it outside so it could fend for itself. It just never really fit in. It walked like a lame duck. It quacked like a lame duck. And it sure stunk like a lame duck. I don't know how all that stinky duck poop came from such a little lame duck. Yup, it WAS a lame little duck. One day, two Canada geese landed on the pond where Dubby was hanging out. They semed to tolerate him at the beginning but he just wanted to follow behind them all the time. The one goose (I named him Rummy) met an unfortunate demise when he went up on the bank and a raccoon got him. The other goose (I named this one Rovie) saw what happened to "buddy Rummy" and flew off...never to be seen again. Go figure. That left Dubby, the pathetic lame duck paddling around in endless circles in the pond. Poor thing couldn't swim in a straight line, with that crippled foot. Before too long, a big fat raccoon was sitting on the bank of the pond, watching that lame Dubby going round and round... spinning in circles. Spinning. Luckily, my dog scared off the raccoon. Unfortunately, soon afterwards, a bolt of lightning came shooting out of the sky and hit the pond. It was electric! Yup! Poor Dubby never even knew what hit him. Mom cooked him in l'orange sauce. If memory serves, he tasted a bit lame. Quack! Quack! 
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#2
11-09-2006, 04:56 PM
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Just putting this one back near the top so I can find it easier next time, and so that Timm doesn't have to go searching for it.
Next chapter will be about squirrels and nuts. Then the skunk story. It really stinks. Stay tuned. DTS
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#3
11-09-2006, 05:03 PM
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Cancel my subscription,please! Content not worthy of my time. Constructive things I can and will listen to,but future editions look to be bleak!
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#4
11-09-2006, 05:09 PM
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I thought you'd enjoy this one. Do you REALLY mean that you have no interest in reading about the poodle in a future chapter? The one after the squirrel and the skunk? Man-o-man...You're a tough, tough editor. Do you have any interest in the rat story?
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#5
11-09-2006, 05:15 PM
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Sorry...I'm not an animal guy,I've had enough pets, and I've definately had enough of the RATS!....they'll be all over the place for a couple of years
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#6
11-09-2006, 05:36 PM
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they've been around for about six years. Their names will be changed to protect the "innocent", but Delay, Abrahmoff, Lay, geesh ...this is going to be a long, long chapter. Maybe you won't read it, plenty of others will. Heck, some people even buy O'Reilly's book...go figure....people will read anything! Some people still even listen to Rush Limbaugh (or is that limburger)...smells like old cheese to me, but then again, RATS like to feed on it. btw, I really do like animals. People could learn a lot from them.
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#7
11-11-2006, 01:23 PM
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Timm,
I forgot to tell you about a little bantam rooster that once strutted around the place like he owned it. One day, I decided to do an experiment. I carefully counted out exactly one hundred corn kernals. I made sure no other cluckers were around and tossed them in his direction. There and then, right on the bare asphalt driveway, that bantam rooster went to scratchin' and feedin'. Dang near wore of the claws at the ends of his spindly little feet trying to get 'em all. Best he could do was 31% of them. Yup, only 31%. Seems his crop got so blown up that he started chokin', right then and there. Well, I could tell his struttin' days were over, but I didn't know what to do for him. A few minutes later, the donkey got loose and with all the commotion going on from that bantam rooster, my guess is that the donkey was curious about what it could do too. The whole thing came to a sudden halt when that donkey stepped on the bantam rooster's head. I don't think the donkey meant to but that little fluffy feathered guy didn't know what had hit him. Problem solved. Anyway, I did an autopsy on that little bantam rooster before he found his tough little carcass in a big pot of boiling water. You might have guessed it...inside that crop that he wanted to stuff full and choked on were exactly 31 kernals of corn. 31%.
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