Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[bigrun]

[DaTruth]

The Baptist & The Louisiana Cajun...
A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a Good Ole Cajun Boy on a flight to Baton Rouge.
After the plane took off, the free spirited Cajun asked for a whiskey and ice, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.* Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The Cajun then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

[Oaklawnfan]

A guy is sitting in his living room watching TV when he notices a Police car pull up in front of his house.
The Sheriff and his deputy come up and knock on the front door. He answers the door and the Sheriff says , are you Mr. Smith? Yes, he says. Are you married, sir? Yes I am, replies Mr. Smith.
Would you happen to have a picture of your wife, sir?
Yes I do, says Mr. Smith.
Would you mind getting it and showing it to us. No problem, gents. He goes into the living room and returns with her picture and hands it to the Sheriff.

A very serious look comes across the Sheriff’s face and he looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry Mr. Smith but it looks like your wife was run over by a truck”.

Mr. Smith replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is a fantastic cook” !!!

[bigrun]

For the Formal Evening on your next Italian cruise.

[bigrun]

Meet my new girlfriend..




http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=C1AIaL4Y2E8

[knickslions2]

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers.

The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again.

The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. “I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?”

“Tis odd, isn't it?” the man replies, “You see, I have two brothers, one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.”

The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening - he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all...”

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent.

[herkhorse]

Sven is passing by Ole's hay shed one day when through a gap in the
door he sees Ole doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red
Massey Ferguson .

'What on earth are you doing Ole', says Sven

'Jeez Sven, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me', says an
obviously embarrassed Ole, 'but me and the Missus been having some trouble
lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something
sexy to a tractor."