Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[Princess Doreen]

News Release: New Penis Study

Several years ago, the United States funded a study to determine why the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and a cost of over $180,000. The results of the
study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is
larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results of the study were published, Germany decided to conduct
their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results
of the U.S. study were incorrect.

After three years and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the WOMAN with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to
conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German
studies.

So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of $3, the Polish study was complete. The Polish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

[hi_im_god]

Originally Posted by Princess Doreen

News Release: New Penis Study

Several years ago, the United States funded a study to determine why the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and a cost of over $180,000. The results of the
study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is
larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results of the study were published, Germany decided to conduct
their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results
of the U.S. study were incorrect.

After three years and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the WOMAN with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to
conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German
studies.

So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of $3, the Polish study was complete. The Polish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

if there was a prince doreen here he'd make 30 posts, each angrier than the one before, about how not funny masturbation was.

he'd end with a final word and then another final word. and then another.

you'd disgust him.

[dagolfer33]

Originally Posted by Princess Doreen

News Release: New Penis Study

Several years ago, the United States funded a study to determine why the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and a cost of over $180,000. The results of the
study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is
larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results of the study were published, Germany decided to conduct
their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results
of the U.S. study were incorrect.

After three years and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the
head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the WOMAN with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the German study were released, Poland decided to
conduct their own study. The Poles didn't really trust the U.S. or German
studies.

So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of $3, the Polish study was complete. The Polish study came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

This is a very perverted post that I find totally sexist towards males, and, maybe even hermaphrodites, and very exploitive towards male genitalia. You should be totally ashamed of yourself for stooping to the level of most of the rest of this board including, but not limited to, myself. Now cut it out.ps. disregard my signature and avatar as they have nothing to do with this message.

[AeWingnut]

First Grade Drawing - PRICELESS!

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment.







The teacher graded it and the child brought it home.

She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.


This drawing is of me selling a shovel.


Sincerely,


Mrs. Harrington

[herkhorse]

From Rick Reilly: some new drinks named for athletes:

A Tiger Woods ... Pineapple juice and vodka ... Drink one and you'll want 13 more.

A Jack Nicklaus ... Kind of like an Arnold Palmer, only a little better.

A Brett Favre ... By the time it comes, you've changed your mind.

A Chris Bosh ... Chaser only.

A Greg Oden ... You can order it but it never shows up.

A Rex Ryan ... Tastes like a Tootsie Roll.

A Mark McGwire ... Comes with a shot.

A Cam Newton ... Your dad orders it for you.

A Dennis Green ... It is what you think it is.

A Tom Brady ... Really good by the sixth round.

A Michael Vick ... A little hair of the dog that should've bitten you.

A LeBron ... Served with a mirrored glass so you can watch yourself drink it.

A Terrelle Pryor ... It's free!

A Lance ... Only one ice cube.

A John McEnroe ... After one, you cannot be serious.

A Karch Kiraly ... Comes spiked.

A Tim Tebow ... Served very straight.

A Michael Phelps ... Water with a water chaser.

A Reggie Bush ... You drink it for a little while, then they take it back.

A Nick Saban ... Comes with extra bitters.

Anna Kournikova ... A white Russian, hot.

A Quentin Richardson ... Hold the Brandy.

A Chris Evert ... You drink it with both hands.

A Barry Bonds ... Careful: it goes straight to your head.

[AeWingnut]

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'.

The old guy obeys and says,"99". The doctor says, "Great". Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99". Again, the old guy says, '99'."

The doctor said, “Very good”. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.

The old guy begins, "One ... Two ... Three" ...

[herkhorse]

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.





He replied, "She called Five Horses".








The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"





The Old Indian answered,
"It's old Indian Name. It mean...
















NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG

[AeWingnut]

[TheSpyder]

bump

Originally Posted by AeWingnut

First Grade Drawing - PRICELESS!

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment.







The teacher graded it and the child brought it home.

She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.


This drawing is of me selling a shovel.


Sincerely,


Mrs. Harrington

[bigrun]

Mrs Brown's sticky situation




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjJc8...ature=youtu.be

[bigrun]

fish not biting.jpg

[Arletta]

1525113_680676971982619_937975101_n.jpg