Joke of the Day

[notyep59]

I was in line at the grocery store picking up a bag of dog food for my dogs when the lady behind me asks, "Do you have a dog?" "No", I said, "I'm on the dog food diet." "Dog food diet, what's that?" she asked. I said "Whenever I leave the house, I fill both pockets with dog food and when i get hungry i just reach in and eat two pieces of food. The last time I was on this diet I lost 50 pounds, but I ended up in the hospital." "Oh no!", she said, "was the food poisoned?" I told her, "No, I was laying in the middle of the road licking my balls when a car hit me!!"