ATTENTION HO's and ****O'S

[Mortimer]

It pleases me to announce I have ,in addition to my fine printed material, I also have an admirable collection of voice recordings.





I may release the voice recordings after tomorrows full page ads come out in the 25 largest American newspapers.









But maybe I won't.









It may not please me tomorrow.


One thing's for sure.












I shall do as I please anytime I wish to.

[Mortimer]

It pleases me to announce I also have several boxes of video recordings.




Very embarrasssing video recordings.

I'm not saying a word about my plans for these gems.








Simply because I don't wish to.

[Mortimer]

I wish to make public I have a gaggle of live witnesses to a certain lynch mob mentality which broke out recently.


Very reliable witnesses.



Note the plural form here....as well as the pointedly descriptive....."gaggle."



That means "lots."










I have hidden them in a certan county in a certain state.




Should anyhing happen to my personal self which does not please me.....




...they know what to do.

[Mortimer]

I sniff anger and fear in the air.









Good.














I am pleased.

[Mortimer]

I wish to type that I am weary.





I am pleased to be fetching my zebra and going to sleep......and doing so with a very free and easy conscience.



Very much so.

[Mortimer]

My positive thinking and prayer time:



Thank you God for allowing me to do as I wish anytime I please.Thank you for making me as You did. May the Earth and its Earthlings try to emulate me.

For, as Youknow,Iam good enough......I am smart enough....





....and ,doggone it, people like me.







Well most of them anyway.



There are certain malcontents who do not.


















Too bad.






Amen.

[Mortimer]

What exactly is a fucl<ing a s s hole anyway?