Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[bigrun]

Advice from a retired husband..Ladies please pay attn and do the right thing for your husband, poor fellow..



How about this slave driver?
>
>
> It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
> becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as
> when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, try not to yell at
> them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
> oversensitive woman.
>
> My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my
> wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for
> Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for
> extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
>
>
> Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show
> her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she
> gets home from work
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
> rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
> her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
> gets dinner on the table.
>
>
> I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is
> not an option for us in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked
> food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon
> as we finished eating but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the
> table for several hours after dinner.
>
> I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
> evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
> this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes
> to bed.
>
> Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
> say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
> during her lunch hour, but chaps, we take them for better or worse, so
> I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
> over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much.
> I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help
> her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
>
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
> She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the
> lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I told her to fix
> herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and
> just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself,
> she might as well make one for me too.
>
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol.
> I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy.
> Many men would find it difficult if not impossible. Nobody knows better
> than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
>
>
> However, Chaps, even if you just use a little more tact and less
> criticism of your ageing wife as a result of reading this article, I
> will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are
> put on this earth to help each other.
>
>
> Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after publishing this letter.
>
>
> The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch
> Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5
> inches of grip showing. A sledge hammer was laying nearby.
>
>
> His wife Carol, was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman
> jury took only 9 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting her
> defence that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his
> golf club.
>