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#1
08-23-2011, 05:03 PM
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Breaking: GOP Candidates Don't Believe in Earthquakes
Breaking News: GOP candidates for president unanimously say they do not believe in earthquakes.
Rick Perry says he has never felt one, so concludes that scientists are fabricating the data. Michelle Bachmann says only God would have the power to move the earth, but that they cannot be real because they are not mentioned in the Bible. Rick Santorum said it wasn't an earthquake, more like a frothy mix. Ron Paul says that earthquakes are not consistent with the intent of the nation's founders, who included nothing about earthquakes in our Constitution. Newt Gingrich said you couldn't feel it in Hawaii. Mitt Romney apologized for once believing in earthquakes when he was governor of Massachusetts. Chris Christie said it's nobody's damn business if he felt it or not. Sarah Palin said it was the fault of the gotcha liberal media and Obama. Tim Pawlenty said earthquakes are bad. www.kos.com
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"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts 
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#2
08-23-2011, 05:27 PM
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President Obama couldn't be reached for comment, he was golfing...................
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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#3
08-23-2011, 05:42 PM
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Joe Biden said it was a big effing deal.
Congressman Joe Wilson said, "You lie!"
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"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#8
08-24-2011, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
 A sane voice in GOP land.Versus Rick Perry, who imploded after merely one week of exposing his own stupidity and contradicting his own words. Good lord, the GOP evangelical field is sad. Maybe that's why god centered an earthquake under Paul Ryans congressional district? 
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"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#9
08-24-2011, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
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don't run out of ammo.
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#10
08-24-2011, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
In the crazy minority of Evangelical Land, Huntsman is doomed. But in America, he'd play very well. I think it's smart of him to just lay low out of the cage match, and keep up offering sanity via Twitter and interviews. The sane notice, the crazy won't control the next election as they think they will.
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"Have the clean racing people run any ads explaining that giving a horse a Starbucks and a chocolate poppyseed muffin for breakfast would likely result in a ten year suspension for the trainer?" - Dr. Andrew Roberts
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#11
08-24-2011, 06:24 PM
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The Weather Channel says today's east coast earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Other theories are that this was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves or what we all believed to be an earthquake was actually the effects of a 14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington..
And this from the White House.. The President has just confirmed that the DC earthquake yesterday occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault".
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"If you lose the power to laugh, you lose the power to think" - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer (1857-1938) When you are right, no one remembers;when you are wrong, no one forgets. Thought for today.."No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong" - Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld, French moralist (1613-1680)
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Good one.
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