BREAKING NEWS: Pedro Martinez ruptures himself FARTING

[the_fat_man]

That's right. After a big meal, Pedro cut a fat one and gave himself a hernia. He'll be out another 6 weeks and joins Moises Alou, who also gave himself a hernia, in this case while urinating on his hands to harden them. At this rate, by the time he's 50, Alou might make it out of bed once a year. Yeah, it's tough out there when you're an athlete.

Let's face it, OFF season and PRE season conditioning can go so far. I mean, you can't pitch off the mound without pulling a hamstring and you certainly can't be expected to survive a fart. And, why in the world would you do a few crunches? Not like you're supposed to be in shape.

Where do these pussies come from? Is anybody in shape anymore?