Quote:
Originally Posted by The Indomitable DrugS
How could you be with that all-star team your boys have assembled in the offseason.
Lets start on the defensive side of the ball ...
* 36 and gearing up for Dancing With the Stars ...
* In the defensive secondary ... he's sired more offspring than Giant's Causeway has over the last five years ...
On offense ....
* He showcased his bricks for mitts in Cleveland where he routinely dropped almost everything thrown his way .. he also earned a ticket out of town when he dropped one of LeDouche James's best buddies with a right hand. Please welcome.. Manos de Piedra ... The hands of stone with the Chia beard.
* In the backfield ... this future hall of famer needs no introduction the world over. An all-time NFL great - and truly the easiest player to hate in NFL history because he pretends to be classy when he's really a whiny douche of epic proportions. Please welcome .. Complainian Tomlinson.
* Also at wideout ... a former Super Bowl MVP ... and Pats fans most approve of his 4 game suspension to start the season stemming from his latest pot bust. Traded to the Jets from Pittsburgh in the prime of his career for a stick of bubble gum ... please welcome Santonio Negron Holmes Jr. (<- that's really his middle name!)
That prissy little beaner of a qb you have sure has a lot to work with.
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Take a Midol you jealous queen. I know it's hard to deal with Randy "My Life is So Unfair When I Run Traffic Cops Over With My Car That I'm Gonna Sob Like an Entitled Little Bitch About It On SportsCenter" Moss' bandwagon-jumping coattail-riding title opportunity being over so quickly, but don't take it out on a team that was 30 minutes from the Super Bowl and vastly improved its roster from there, rather than sit on its ass like some over-the-hill dynasty that hasn't drafted a good defensive player in five years. I can't wait for the excuses in December and January. It was a real treat last year.