Don't take this the wrong way, but you should share this with a professional therapist. There's nothing wrong with going in for a mental "check up" once in a while and you have some legit issues that friends, OTB or DT aren't going to fix. If money is tight, there should be therapists available through your insurance or even county, local hospitals, etc. All that should truly matter to you are your children and that should be the starting point for whatever decisions you make with their Mom.
You should also make sure your rights as a Dad are protected as she can't dictate when you see the kids like she is. And if that other stuff is is true, you have tough decisions to make about stepping in and protecting your children even if it risks alientating her. You don't have to be together to do what's best for the kids.
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"but there's just no point in trying to predict when the narcissits finally figure out they aren't living in the most important time ever."
hi im god quote
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