[clyde]

It was the SportyBar right across the street...highway...4 lanes....too dangerous to cross while walking,especially when those who would kill you are close.

First time there.

Inside,about one hour later,I was watching the Ohio State game at the bar.It was long.





Not the game---the bar.

I'd only been there an hour.


Happily,people to my left were merely slamming them down.Those to my right were doing the same ,but also shoveling all types of basket cradled food at such a pace I thought surely the ref would stop this debacle.

But no.


So I looked straight, at the large screen,or to my left. My sense of hearing could not abort the piggie pen noises....afraid to say.




I was still nursing the first MerHigh.I had put the bar girl through quite a challenge when giving her instruction as to how I wanted the drink.I gave her the exact amount of ice cubes,the type of glass it should be poured into...and that her hands should be covered with sanitary gloves.

She was properly scolded when she set the drink on the bar....2 ice cubes short of exact.She knows what that word means now.



I had to....whizz.

I got her atention by shrieking out a "HEY!"

I told her where I was going and that my unfinished drink must be guarded as there are people here who would like to poison it, so as to kill me.At this point...she was deathly afraid of me.

She set the drink on her itty bitty side of the bar.You know, that 4 inch or so stepped down ledge. ..behind the combination menu,ketchup and mustard holder.

She looked at me for approval.

She didn't get what she wanted.




I gave her a look of disgust and slammed the ketchup and mustard container on either side of the drink.The menus were long.They blocked the frontal view, but the wings were exposed.

I looked at her and then nodded my head toward the fortress I had constructed around the drink.She looked at it, bowed her head....and walked away in shame.






I then left to whizz.